Am organising a birthday party for my young son (3 turing 4)
As a mum, its so hard making good friends. Have a variety of different types: aquaintences where our kids made friends and we do playdates, friends that I like and our kids aren’t really friends and just people I know in groups and kids play somewhere central.
Anyway, its a small party - Which consists of his actual friends specifically invited and then family.
I had planned on not inviting my friends kids because they don’t particularly get along, even though as a mum Id love to hang with my new friend.
My issue is, Facbook generally isnt a secretive place and I will definitely be putting photos of the event up so I can’t just not mention it (we don’t have mutual friends so it crossed my mind) I figured I’d just tell her my son didn’t invite her kids and hopefully they will be invited next time but now Im feeling uneasy.
Obviously this kinda stuff comes up as they get older but what’s the ettiquete? If the situation was reversed I’d get over it but I think Id be a little miffed too. Should I just invite her kids?
4 Replies
We didn't get invited to a friends party and it was awkward because they didn't say anything but the kid said something about it, the secrecy makes it more awkies I think. Just drop it in the conversation, put it on your son, say his year he's decided to have a little get together with his kindy friends, so we're doing that on Saturday, then back talking about yourself.
People understand they won't be invited to everything. Maybe if she's really miffed, you could say yeah you're miffed too, it would be nice if you could have everyone there but it's hard so you just made him choose, you could invite them over for a cake or a play at a different time.
How long have you known this friend? Seeing as you're not fb friends with her that makes me think the friendship is fairly new, in which case you owe her no explanation.
If it comes up, for sure mention it but I don't think you need to go out of your way to tell her either.
At the end of the day, birthday parties are about the child. You'll probably be too busy to hang out with anyone anyway. Organize a catch up another time.
I don't expect my child to be invited to my friends kids parties. Just like I don't expect my child to be invited to his cousins parties. I would not be offended at all if I saw pics on Facebook of my friends child's party. It would be different if you were part of a long standing group and you excluded one or two people.
If you are really worried, when you post the pic say 'X had a fantastic party with family' and leave it at that.
Don't say they 'might be invited next time' that's odd and your child and her children may never get along, and that's ok, they don't have to, they don't have to be included in your child's parties for you to be friends with the parents.
You will find this is very common. Growing up we NEVER invited kids to parties who were not in our actual friendship circle at school or hobbies. It was never an issue. We didn't expect nor did we get an invite to our parents friends kids parties. It would have been odd and awkward for everyone.
This will get easier to navigate as your child gets older because you'll stop combining kids/family celebrations so much and the parents start dropping the children off and going.
The important part of my essay. This is your child's party, not your party so invite who is important to your child and if people have issues that's there issues.
That makes perfect sense. Its what I was thinking all along but its easy to become paranoid when you over think it. Thanks!