Hi, I have for some time suspected my Mum has a gambling problem. She always seems to be borrowing money off others and it’s always a different excuse as to why. She has 2 part time jobs and lives with me. She does give me money most fortnight’s when she gets paid for rent. She always seems to go through her money quickly and almost every fortnight borrows money from me or one of my siblings. I have 2 children and am a single mum so can’t afford to keep doing this.
The other night she left her phone on the bench when she went for a shower. Yes I went through her messages! I know I shouldn’t have but I did. I did because I thought I may find something in there to prove my suspicions. Well I did to a point. I found out she has borrowed large amounts of money from 2 friends of hers and there was a text from a bank asking her to contact them regarding her finances.
How do I now confront her about this? I know she is in trouble and I want to help her. I know she will be angry I went through her phone but I am willing to deal with that. I just want to help her and get her the help she obviously needs! What do I do?!
How do I confront my mum?
How do I confront my mum?
Posted in:
Money
2 Replies
You and your siblings need to stop enabling her for starters. Stop loaning her money.
I think you just need to be upfront, beating around the bush isn't helpful in these situations, you don't need to be specific but just say something like "I know you owe lots of people money, mum. I'm concerned about what you're spending it on. Are you gambling it?"
She probably will get mad and defensive because this would be causing her a lot of stress. Arm yourself with some gambling support services information, tell her you want to help her but be prepared that she may not be willing to even acknowledge there's a problem, let alone seeking help.
Good luck, gambling is so insidious - it's destroyed many a family.
There was a series called You Can’t Ask That. Watch the episode on gambling. Ring GA and get advice for yourself. If you found out she was a junkie, what would you do? Addictions destroy lives/families