Hi IM’s
Things between my husband and I haven’t been so crash hot for awhile now and I am extremely unhappy. I’ve spoken to him about how I’ve been feeling over and over but nothing seems to change. I’ve now told him that it’s over but he keeps threatening suicide and saying that when he’s gone I will regret it and will have to live with the guilt for the rest of my life. This isn’t the first time he’s said it but every time he mentions it I get worried and stay because I’m scared he will actually do something and I don’t want our child to grow up without a father ... I really just don’t know what to do anymore I am so sick of being unhappy 😔
7 Replies
What he is doing is a form of emotional abuse and control. It's not ok for him to say it and the chances of him following through is pretty low. You need to leave. This isn't a healthy environment for your child to grow up in. You are not that special that you can make a guy kill himself by leaving him.
You leave, if he threatens to harm himself you call the police and ambulance. When he realises you stopped paying attention he will stop threatening.
If he did actually do the most ridiculous thing and kill himself that's entirely on him. You are NOT responsible for his life.
I had a friend in my teens who got herself into a very toxic relationship, she tried to end it several times with the same threat - to the extent he actually climbed down a cliff, banged himself up a bit and called her from the bottom claiming he'd chucked himself off (there were actually witnesses who sae him do this).
My point is, these threats are almost always about control as opposed to a cry for help. He may very well have some mental health problems but don't let that sway your decision.
He is the only one responsible for his actions!
Call the police and an ambulance. That behaviour is controlling and is abusive. You are not responsible for his stupid decisions.
This is what you do if he threatens suicide and what i was told to do by a domestic violence counsellor. You call the police. Tell them your husband is threatening to kill himself. They will send a triage team to assess him and then its out of your hands. Or you can google the psychiatric triage team number for your area.
Hes using it as emotional blackmail to force you to stay. Don't give him that power. You call and report hes threatening to kill himself then he is taken care of by professionals while you take care of yourself.
Good luck honey. You deserve to be happy.
My husband does the same. I made a appointment with my GP two weeks ago. I broke down crying asking what's wrong with me. He replied you are a battered woman and have the right to be happy. Regarding the suicide threats he told me to no longer engage and instead tell him I will call an ambulance and that it is on him not me. I asked my husband to leave on Saturday and despite the threats I actually am starting to feel relieved. I cannot stress enough how much you should book an appointment with your GP asap.
Call his bluff, pack your bags (or his bags) and call an ambulance explaining he has stated he is suicidal. They will take him off for a mental health assessment. You are not responsible for his poor choices, even if the consequences of his choices are drastic. You are in control of your choices and you are the boss of you. Don't be manipulated by him, you can be in control of you and your choices. Best of luck.
He's doing it to control you and manipulate you into staying. He's abusive. Individuals that 'threaten' suicide aren't the ones who usually actually do it. It's a way of controlling you to stay with him and put up with his BS. If he wants to top himself, that's not you to burden, that's his own dam mentally retarded doing. RUN.