How young is to young? Is there an average age of when this starts?
A few times now I've walked into my 8.5yr old sons room to find him in bed (undercovers) playing with his penis. (Alot more in the last 6 or so months)
Now I've always just said "if your going to play with it its something you do in the privacy of your room" rather than in the loungeroom etc
It's at random times.. like he will be watching a movie with his brothers (5 &1) and than just run off into his room, or tonight he just got home from his fathers house.. went upstairs and after about 10mins I heard him run into his room (which I thought nothing of) until I yelled out for him to pass me something from upstairs and he didn't answer, So I came upstairs and he was in bed.
I didn't make a fuss about anything/didnt say anything to him about it, but is this normal for his age?
We havent really spoken about pubity yet but i didnt think we were at that point.. now im questioning if i should chat to him about it all now.
He also shares a room with the 5yr old brother. (Own room isn't an option atm).
Also any advice on good pubity books that explain it all well that he could read first?
4 Replies
Totally normal! He is doing what he has been taught to do, go to his room when he gets an erection. Boys get erections for absolutely no reason at all. A lot of kids would sneakily play with it in the loungeroom and hope you don't notice!
I don't think it's too early to start discussing the changes that will occur during puberty. It's a great time to get a book from the library on the topic and reading it with him.
My son used to at that age too, and I would tell him the same, that's your private time ect.. I think it's natural and perhaps a "comfort" thing.. his going on 18 now and seems perfectly fine ( I raised him as a single mum, didn't have brothers ect and it caught me off guard too) don't stress mumma
Males and females explore their bodies from babies, and like all of us, some spend more time self pleasuring than others. Perfectly normal and natural. If he's sharing a room that's prob why he's running off for private time. Speak to the household about privacy, doors closed and knocking. Not just knock and enter, but knock, wait for an answer and the invite to enter.
Speak to dad so he's on the same page and has similar door knocking respect/rules at his place.
Arm yourself with correct info re puberty and start talking about it now, make sexual health, pleasure, consent, relationships, etc a regular normal topic of conversation
Just because he's going to his room doesn't necessarily mean he's masturbating. Maybe he just needs a break from the younger ones. maybe he's just in bed because it's cosy and relaxing. If he is masturbating it's his business no one else's.