I'm so tired of having to do everything! I live with my partner and his teenage daughter and absolutely nothing gets done unless I ask and even then it's not before a whinge and a moan!
I ask for the dishes to get done and half of them get done but the pots and pans are still on the stove top and anything that was left in any other room are left because "I forgot them", the bench can't get wiped down or nor can the stove because "that's not part of the dishes".
I actually don't remember the last time someone else put on a load of washing or hung one out without me asking.
I don't remember the last time someone did a grocery run or cooked me a meal for a change. We've had so much take out in the last few weeks because I'm exhausted from work and everything else to put in the time for menu planning and shopping. Asking them to do it isn't an option, I get I dunno or I don't care or a shrug of the shoulders and then yet again it's my problem.
We have no money so a maid isn't an option, none of those food programs like light and easy are an option, they cost waaaaay too much and I can't get away for even a night, I have no where to go and too much to do. I'm so run down I don't even know what I have left to do most days!
Sorry for the long one I just needed a vent so I can pull it back together and keep going
Rant Time
Rant Time
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Self Care, Health & Wellbeing
5 Replies
Don't do their stuff. In our house we all wash our own clothes, including our son who has done his since he could operate a washing machine and hung it since he could reach the line. Linen too. I wash towels and bathmats. Same for cooking. If you can't implement a roster for cooking they feed themselves every night. I cook a batch of something freezable and that's my dinner when I get home late. Ban dishes anywhere other than kitchen or dining table since they can't be returned or collected. Make wiping the benches and stove top part of the dishes. If it's not done they get back in there and finish it. Hell if there's dishes I don't think are clean they get put back on the other side to be done again. I do make it easy though, we have the rule that you rinse what you use and put water in pots and pans to make washing up a bit easier. If these guys don't tidy up after themselves this little cyclone mumma is going to make life very unpleasant. Tough love. They're taking you for granted.
Sorry but why? Because they don't care and they know you do!
I haven't done my sons washing since he was 12. He learnt pretty damn quick I'm not doing it. Look after yourself.
If it's your house, tell them both to get out!
My rule from now on, I'm looking after myself! Cook for you, shop for you, get yourself a laundry basket for you. Wash your dishes, wash your clothes. Too bad, too sad to them.
Let the house turn to filth and get on with Your life. Go OUT. You will wonder why you are living with these people.
Arrhhhh!!!!! It's my life too you've written about! We are a blended family (4 kids full time) and I do EVERYTHING! I've tried shaking things up and not doing things for them all but they don't give a shit, and the dirty washing growing mould on the floor gets to me and I wash it! Can I really let them starve? I wish, but I feel rude if I only cook for myself.
All we want is to share the load right???
Exactly! Don't do the washing, none gets done, so people say let them go dirty but you just can't do that! "Don't cook for them" then no one does and they go hungry and complain constantly making you even more stressed!
All I want is a little help from them or hell even a bit of appreciation for it. I don't think a lot of the mums understand having a blended family
I agree with the other posters - but choose your battles.
Eg My husband kept walking around in his socks without shoes. I warned him 3 times I wouldn't wash them. He has been washing his own socks for nearly 3 years and periodically asks "but I've stopped wearing socks without shoes, when are you going to wash them again?" Answer "Never"
Eg. Step son (late teenager) refused to do his washing - I literally let him stink and go to work (supermarket) stinking - their HR dept had words with him and he started washing - his clothes and himself.
Eg. He wouldn't clean up for the cleaning lady to be able to vac and do his fan, etc. I stopped her cleaning his room and he festered. I accepted that I would have to get new carpet and bedding when he left. I warned him every 6mths that as soon as he was 21 he would have to go if he wasn't contributing. I gave him notice on his 21st birthday that he had to leave. Booked a bathroom reno for the family bathroom and told him he'd have to go cause there'd be nowhere for him to shower/poo...He went just in time... He says now that it was the best thing that could have happened. Rents his own place and keeps it pretty good :)
Eg. From starting high school all 3 kids had to cook a meal for dinner each week. If it wasn't cooked EVERYONE went hungry. Sibling pressure sorted that. And they all ended up learning to cook.
Eg. Same with the dishwasher - I accepted the best value was I packed it, then if it wasn't emptied and put away by dinner prep time the designated cook didn't cook.
Eg. I wash and hang out for under 18's and hubby. They have to put it in the basket to get it washed. They either take it straight off the line to their room or at worst I take it off and dump it unfolded on their bed. What happens to it then is their problem. And if school complains about crushed shirts/shorts or reworn dirty clothes, I just tell them to speak to the kids. I explain the house rules to the school and I've never had come back - they think it's great. I wash and fold and put away towels, etc.
Eg. Same with clean sheets. I wash and give them back to them to put on the bed. If they ask for help making the bed I'll help but not do it. If they don't ask and sleep in the mess. It's their mess. I close the door so I don't have to see/smell it.
It takes determination to get balance and the later you start the harder it is going to be. Good luck! :)