At a loss, my 19 tear old daughter recently tried to overdose on pills for the 3rd time.
After the second as i didnt know about the first, we got her help thru headspace, that was going great.
But she changed 3 councilors in under 6 months which is ridiculous.
She doesnt open up much and is very hard to get any information out if her is difficult.
The second councillor was making headway and were in the process of talking about ways to cope so she doesnt have these urges.
My daughters had a hard life, her dad left us for another woman, went to jail for 18 months for child pornography,
Was really an absentee father.
I only had one long term partner , but single for last 5 years.
Basically shes my life.
She in the last days of doing year 12, and then she does this, no trigger nothing, its like an impulse.
She spent a few days in aau which is psychiatric and was moved to a youth centre where they help young adults, which has made her more confused, and also got involved with kids more messed up than she is.
Her teachers have been wonderful, and can pass her as shes doing underscored.
I would love for her to graduate bcaise really she deserves it.
She scared to come home, as she scared of these feelings returning.
Im so lost i want my baby home.
I dont feel they are helping her in there.
She doesnt know what she wants she even says she wants to live on the streets.
She got a nice home, food, clothing, pets. She can have a real life.
Unfortualtly because of her age i get told nothing, its so hard.
Even though shes 19 mentally shes younger.
I feel hurt upset angry and most of all miserable.
I dont know what im asking but i feel like im loosing the plot i dont want to wake up in the morning she is whats keeping me alive.
4 Replies
Hi, Im so sorry for your situation, it must be absolutely heartbreaking. I am no expert but if I can gently give feedback on what I picked up I hope it might be helpful.
You say she is whats keeping you alive. She is your life. You just want her home.
Thats a pretty big role for a teenager, a lot to be responsible for. I get that you love her dearly, but her needs have to come first. She needs to be healthy, not have the pressure to do what others want her to do.
I wonder if possibly you dont realise the depth of mental health as you seem to hint that if shes home and passes her exams then all is well, and as shes said, that would be very scary for her. could it be possible it wasnt a snap but you missed the buildup?
I mean a nice home, food, all that doesnt stop mental health issues. Theyre not reasons why she should be better or fine.
I think you would benefit from seeing your own therapist to help you understand whats going on for her and make sure youre coming from it in a healthy way.
I really hope that might give a different perspective, and if its off the mark then I apologise, All the best I hope she gets the help she needs.
Im sorry you are both going through this. Honestly though she is in the best place to get help. And unfortunately it takes time. Depression is not something that is healed overnight or just because someone tells her to be happy. The staff at the aau know what they are doing and will not release her until they are comfortable with where she is at mentally. Its natural i think (i had the same feelings before i was released from aau)to feel scared about relapsing and having those fears and feeling return, but she needs to when released follow through on appointment and medications. I think also you may need to see your own gp about your own mental health. You need to speak to someone about how you feel and how you cope as well.
This must be incredibly hard for you . Watching our children suffer in any way is heartbreaking. I feel like the best thing would be for you to also seek support for yourself in dealing with this . Go to the gp and explain your feelings of being overwhelmed and miserable and ask for a mental health plan so you can talk to someone about coping strategies for yourself to deal with all of it. That will also help your daughter too if you are getting support.
Seek support from friends and family for yourself too if they are around . This is not something you should be dealing with on your own .
I hope things improve soon for both you and your daughter .
This brought a tear to my eye. Just remember you are doing the best you can. This isn't your fault.
I went through something similar with my son a few years back. I feel like my life has changed because of it and things will never be the same.
We went to headspace too. They referred us onto another organization as they felt they weren't equipped to deal with the situation. He did counseling and is on medication. It took a while but he's so much better now. That's the first thing to know. It's going to take a long time. She's not going to wake up and incredibly feel better. It's a long journey and it's exhausting.
You HAVE TO BE SELFISH. Have some time for yourself. You won't want to and every second you do you'll feel terrible and you'll think about your daughter and that you should be doing something to help her. Do it anyway. Your body needs a break. You need support too. Go get a mental health plan from your doctor and talk to someone. I didn't do this but I was lucky to have a very supportive network of friends and family. You really need to talk about it.
I am so sorry this is happening. It's extremely difficult and I really can't say everything will be alright because I still don't feel like everything is alright for us. I question what I did to make him feel the way he does which is ridiculous.
It's not your fault.
It's not.
Give yourself a hug. Go talk to a friend. Cry your eyes out. Eat cake. Whatever. Please just look after you.