Trigger warning * sexual abuse
Removing a family member.
My sister has become very toxic and I am thinking of removing her from my life. Mainly to protect my mental health.
My stepdad (her father) sexually abused me. I was removed from the home and fostered.
Somehow I was returned and the abuse continued
My mum died and we were left with him.
My stepdad has admitted he felt an unrequited love for me, in an email.
But my sister refuses to believe it.
Sadly now she is constantly telling me how awesome he is and leaving her own daughter in his care
Today she told me she needs a babysitter. I offered but she chose her dad.
I said you really have to be careful.. She told me I am a liar and he is amazing.
I am struggling watching this play out.
Even worse my sister works in child protection.
I am always going softly on her but have decided to be strong and say to her that she is leaving her 2 year old in the care of an abuser and I can no longer stay nice.
Advice please
4 Replies
Report to child protection and walk away!
For your own mental health you need to separate yourself from her.
Yep, report it!
And ensure your abuse was correctly reported to, and take it to the police!
FACS need to be held account for their mistakes, and returning you to an abuser is a HUGE fuckup!!
Protect you niece and Any future children that may become victims!
My aunt and her husband adopted me when I was 12, and I went through the same thing. My aunt passed away never knowing who to believe, but signing all rights to me away and effectively choosing him. And my sister/cousin chooses to believe I should forgive and respect him (her step father), and gets mad when I am in town for family events and completely ignore him. She was the person I ran to, stayed with her for a month until I moved in with my brother while it went to court. He took a plea deal, not admitting to it, but it will always be on his record in case he ever does it again. She still sees him, swears he did nothing wrong. It literally tore our family apart. We have reached a point that, unless I am in town and it is necessary, we don't speak about it. She has made her decision and I stand by mine. She allows him around her son, and I refuse to have him anywhere near my children and she is not to speak to him about my boys. It has worked for us so far, but it's still hard. I would report it, as I did, but you should be able to do so anonymously and hopefully it won't come between the two of you.
Op here.
My sister has read the email.
Docs report says he admitted to it.
I have taken all your advice and reported to facs.
I have informed her to think as once her child is touched she cannot undo it.
I have also told her husband.