Help!!
I was with my ex husband for almost 2 decades. In that time we had 4 children.
I left as his drinking started to get worse and he'd be violent and aggressive when drinking. ( mostly toward me)
At first we shared custody of our 2 youngest. My eldest 2 refused to stay with him. After a while my now 13 year old chics to stay with his dad perminatley. His reasoning was because I dated and he didn't like the hours I worked or my job ( I work from home so I'm always available to my kids)
My youngest this year has decided to live with me 100%. He's seen himself what his dad is like.
My ex quit his job and now relies solely on Centrelink and my $800 a month in child support to live off.
All this money goes straight to alcohol and drugs and my son isn't in the best environment.
Ive called child safety 3 times inn the last 18 months to express my concerns. Some of these concerns ( but there's many more!) ..... drugs and drinking around my son, domestic violence.. he beat up his girlfriend and put her in hospital ( my boys had been there that night too) me being told by his cousin that he beat him because my son was still awake at 10:30pm when he'd returned drunk from watching state of origin at friends, him drunk
Driving with my son in the car, him constantly kicking my son out of the house when he gets drunk, him having a punch up with his room mate and my son getting kicked out for trying to break them up.
Things like this. Constantly. I only even hear about it when someone slips up and tells me. Otherwise it's all kept hush hush.
The thing is, child safety say they can do nothing about it. Because he is 13 and chooses to live there. ( I don't know why he chooses this. All they can do is give him strategies if he feels unsafe. He does have behavioural issues, he is supposed to be on medication and seeing someone, yet dad can't be stuffed keeping the appointment I make) dad also bribes him with promises of motorbikes and stuff, and let him do whatever the hell he wants, where as I set boundaries and don't let him roam the streets etc. ( while with dad he has broken into a school, stolen a poor child's scooter off him at the skate park, his dad lets him smoke cigarettes, he roams the streets ect)
Has anyone got any advice? What should be my next step? How do I get him out of there without kidnapping him and locking him in a room?!
2 Replies
Unfortunately at this age it's up to your son to decide. We went through this with my niece. Nothing we can do other than let her know we are here and let it run it's course.
We have been advised by lawyers, child protection and a family therapist it will create a 'run away' situation.
Keep reporting it, document everything, speak to school about your concerns. I'm appalled that at 12 a kid can decide to stay in a shit environment but a kid taken in care has to stay until 18....