Hi IM's, I need to ask a question about centrelink. I am new to all of this so please bear with me.
My partner and father of my 3 kids and I have split. I am a stay at home mum and haven't worked since our oldest was born.
I am not quite ready to work as Ive just had baby number 3 not too long ago and have a broken tailbone that is making my life hell. (Was a birth injury) Walking and just doing things in general is very hard right now. So I am in need of some financial assistance until I can get back on my feet.
My question is where do I start? My ex doesnt want to pay "child support" but wants to pay half of the mortgage thats in both names to keep a roof over the kids heads. Im not even sure at this stage if Im eligible for any benefits if I am living in my own home. Im just not sure what to. I have $500 in my account that is my own. I have no joint savings or acess to any money other than this. I am just not sure how to go about all of this. Has anyone else been in this situation? What proof would I need to be eligible for some help? My ex has always controlled the finances and now I need to come up with half the mortgage repayments which is $700 a month.. I feel so out of my depth. If it was as easy as putting the kids in daycare and getting a job thats what Id do to support the 4 of us. I dont want to go into details about the break up as its all very messy but he has alot of assets all in his name. I dont want to push him to pay for things as I am afraid of him. In his mind paying mortgage benefits him in the long term is how he sees it.
So sorry if I have been rambling. I just needed a safe place to talk about this. I feel like a failure for even asking.
6 Replies
Better to do it now, sell the house as you can't afford to pay the mortgage yourself (you would have to increase the mortgage to pay him out, so would be more than the 1400 per month, depending on equity in the home) and go your separate ways. Then you apply for child support amd with three kids and youngest under age 8, you will have enough to live on. You will get single parenting pension, ftb a and b, child support plus rental assistance. Use the online estimator to see what you will get. When your youngest is six or eight, not sure, you go onto Newstart and lose single parenting payment, that's when things will get tough, but you have plenty of time to plan for that if your youngest is a baby. Good luck, wishing you all the best.
Start with the Centrelink website. All the information is on there. You should be eligible for parenting payment single, family tax benefits (A and B). It should be very doable if your housing is only going to cost you $700 a month. I know single parents on Centrelink who pay $300 per week!!! You can apply online it's a relatively simple process
Him paying the mortgage is probably not a great idea long term. It is fine short term. You need to get yourself legal advice about the assets etc especially the house. I'd contact a women's legal service.
You will also need to make a plan regarding care of the kids. Knowledge is power. So read about the systems in Australia regarding mediation and family court. You might not think you need it now, but in the heat of the moment threats get made and knowing where you stand and the systems in place will mean you won't feel threatened when/if stupid threats are made.
Knowledge is confidence. So now is the time to read everything.
Lodge a claim. Worse case youre not entitled to anything, you probably are though and its only paid from the date the claims lodged.
You will likely be eligible for Single Parenting payment, Family Tax A and B. Hubby doesn't really have a choice over child support OR mortgage (which I imagine is in both names?) He will be required to pay both his half of the mortgage and child support to you as well - but you will need to lodge a claim with both Centrelink and the CSA - do it soon. Consult a family lawyer as well (one appointment shouldn't cost you money) to work out what might be the best way to proceed.
I know there is a lot to think about right now, I've been there. Centrelink is the place to start, you'll lodge a claim for parenting payment single and family tax benefit. You will be required to lodge a claim with child support also, or you won't get family tax benefit. don't let him bully you about child support, just lodge the claim and have CSA collect on your behalf so you don't have to negotiate with him about it.
Now the mortgage and assets is where it gets trickier. If the mortgage remains in both names, it is equally his debt, he needs to keep making his payments, seperate to child support. But you have to think about the level of control this continues to give him over your life. After you have lodged your centrelink claim and started to feel secure with some income (I pay $900 fortnight for mortgage myself on centrelink plus 1 day week work, you will be fine), your next step is to get some legal advice. Legal aid, or you can book a free initial consultation with many lawyers too. Just make sure you have a list of questions to make the most from that time. Married or not, all your assets and his are listed in your combined asset pool, all debts are also listed, then they are divided... you will be entitled to more than you think as you have been stay at home mum. It's a long process and there is a lot you don't want to think about right now, so lodge with centrelink first, but don't delay getting some good legal advice too.
Sounds like financial abuse to me.
Don't agree to anything until you've had legal advice.
Depending on his wage, and if you have the kids most of the time IE 80/20 split, then child support for 3 young kids could be $150 or more a week. Him paying half the mortgage is about $160 a week. I'm thinking he'd still have to pay his share, plus pay child support. He's relying on your fear and ignorance. You have to do what's right for your kids. He, along with you, is responsible for their care and upkeep, regardless if he sees them or not. The more he has the kids in his care, the less he will pay child support to you. It sounds like he'd be difficult to get money out of, so I'd elect for Child Support to collect on your behalf, rather than private collection. It means you get monthly payments but at least you're not the one having to chase him up. I hated asking my ex for money when we first separated...
You can go online and get an estimate of payments available through Centrelink but I'd recommend you call Centrelink and make an appt to see a social worker, there may be emergency funds you can access due to DV (remember DV isn't just physical).
Secondly, call up the Child Support Agency (they are separate to Centrelink however they do share info) and get a quote for child support, you'll need to give them the % of care you each provide and yours and his income. You get 13 weeks to lodge.
Call Relationships Australia, although I'm thinking the Centrelink social worker will give you all the relevant contacts. This is for mediation, patenting plan, handy booklets, etc
As I said at the beginning, seek legal advice. You'll possibly be entitled to legal aid. Just because he has everything in his name doesn't mean it's his, same as debts, everything is split, even his super can be split, and normally it's a split in the primary carer's favour. Ideally, you both come to an arrangement re property settlement and shared care of kids without going to court. The only winners are the lawyers. You are expected to go thru mediation prior to that anyway.
Has he moved out? If not, you'll need to complete a 'separated - living under the same roof form'
I hope you've got some great friends and family around to support you, emotionally, physically and financially. Seeing a psychologist helped me through the initial separation, and then the divorce stage as well