I met a man who i fell in love with. Instantly and completely. He was everything i ever wanted in a man. He was kind, considerate, romantic, passionate, the complete package. We were always together and if not always on the phone. The relationship got very serious very quickly. Organised moving in together, referred to each other as stepmum/stepdad to each others kids. My kids knew him. We knew the most intimate details about each other, that nobody ever knew. The day before i was to move in he revealed that he had been sleeping with his ex and was going back to her. Broke my heart. How could someone who presented themselves as so perfect and in love just turn the tables and reveal themselves to be everything they weren't? And how do i get over this?
4 Replies
There is NOTHING wrong with you. This is one of life's lessons. We all go through our own life's lessons.
Romance is an amazing thing, but Anyone can pretend to be something they are not. At the start of a relationship anyone can be kind, considerate, romantic, passionate (if they choose to be so). It's usually a vet good act/burns out fast/or turns toxic.
Those hot, heavy, fast romances rarely work out. It's so hard to see when we are in them, but the first Red Flag for domestic violence, and abuse is a fast moving, passionate, romantic relationship (I know, everything we are taught to dream of).
It's hard and most of us have met a guy like yours. They make you feel Sooooo special. Then rip the rug out from under him.
It's not you it's him.
It's that lesson that makes me pull the reigns. My kids need to know I've done my due diligence on a guy, really truly see and know his flaws and that I see past the loved up haze of fast passionate relationships and master manipulators!!!
You won't be the first woman he has done something similar to.
If it's too good to be true, it usually is, agree with the above. The hot heavy are the ones that usually fizzle quickly, like friendships. Google charming man syndrome, malignant narcissist etc. to get a better idea.
They normally do come on super fast and perfect at the start because its an act whether they know it or not.
Youre lucky he admitted it and you know and can deal with it already, most people get dragged through hell first. And i really mean that it could have been far worse in damage and time put in. Youll need a lot of self care to move on.
Sorry for your pain. In time you'll realise all the flaws in him that you previously ignored. This guy is a lying cheating co-dependent asshat