How to live a happy life as a single parent

Hey IP's,

Being a single parent isn't 'new' to me, I have been single majority of my child's life. But broke up with my ex going on 8-months ago (8-yr relationship) and I want to continue staying single for sometime.

But how do I find that happy, medium place? I want to start loving myself more and feeling content in the single life. I'm in no headspace to date anyone and I'm thoroughly enjoying not having to worry about what my partner is doing behind my back.

My headspace is ruined by my ex, who used and abused my trust for multiple years (8-months ago only found out a good 7 years he was unfaithful and made out I was the one who was being unfaithful and or it was all in my head), cheating and lying was most of it, on his behalf. So my trust has vanished. I know I'll get it back and eventually be content when the time comes and I'm in a relationships, but right now I want to be happy and find myself. How to do that?

I have been distracting myself allot, avoid facing reality I guess. I work FT and studying PT. My child is in high school and I've been fixating myself around him or work. No time for me, easier that way, then I don't need to think. I have been also focusing on savings as I plan to buy in the near future our own home. My work income is pretty decent + get work benefits which help out allot. We receive a % govt benefits (but receive them annually). I'm just trying to distract myself with everything other than my emotions, but that isn't working.

But as of late, I've been missing another, someone who I can take to work events, social outings, family gatherings and someone who just wants to be with me, have a future with and the possibilities to have more children. But then I snap out of it quick and think of all the awful things my ex did to me, the broken promises, lies, unfaithfulness, just the one extreme to another, and the fact I allowed that behaviour time and time again, because I loved him.

I want to be happy again. I want me back! I lost her whilst I was trying to forgive my ex constantly and "fix" that.

It's like those questions that people ask "what are your hobbies, interests, things you do for fun" ect. Haha umm, no idea. How sad is that, I can't even figure out what I like to do for fun. 😂 can only laugh.

On another note. I guess I'm feeling this way, because a close friend of mine, admitted a few weeks ago that he was in love with me and each time I would confide in him regarding my ex, his heart broke and all he wanted to do was whisk both my child and I up and take us away. I told him that even if the feelings were mutual, I am in no headspace to go there. He told me that it's okay and he respects me for who I am and doesn't want me to change for nobody, I will always have a place in his heart wherever our future takes us.

I didn't know what to say, except I thanked him for his honesty, and I hoped that we could still be friends as I hadn't thought of him in that way, (I am not psychically attracted to him and never looked at him in "that way"). But now thinking about it over the few weeks and it's not because I'm 'lonely or lost' just that he's always been there for both of us (child and I), reliable, honest, trustworthy. He's a family man, has good morals and work-ethic. He's always been good to us, kind, generous and my dad always joked "why didn't you marry him", or so I thought it was a joke. How did I not see he liked me in this way? Nobody that knows us both picked up on the ques.

Now feel like his honesty has thrown me in the deep end with my emotions. I don't know. Mixed emotions right now. I'm determined to find my happy place as I deserve that, my child deserves that. And the question still stands, how do I find that place?

Sorry for the novel, mixed emotions, confused but determined to be happy with or without a partner.

Tia x