I have 3 kids to my ex. My current partner has 2 kids yet after 2.5 years of TTC.....nothing. i have seen gynos and had every test.....nothing wrong. My only thought now is maybe its my partner. His ex cheated on him around the time of conception of number 1 and his second was a miracle (they had sex 4 times over 4 months).
I feel lost and disappointed every time AF shows up. We arent actively trying but arent stopping it either. Its one of those...oh period is here? That month went quick guess im not pregnant things where you forget all about it until your period comes.
This month has killed me a little more though. A very short and light period with spotting a week after, sore breasts and so tired i think i could sleep for a week straight. Do a FRER....instant line....that fades. Do a google search to see so many mums in the same boat. The tests are dodgy and since being redesigned....fading lines are a norm. So that tiny glimmer gets smashed into even tinier pieces.
Not asking for anything. Just sharing a piece of brokenness. I know i am lucky for the 3 i already have and beong a step mum to 2 more.....but my heart cant take anymore disappointment to the point where i am considering a hysto because if i know i cant ever....the pain of wishing will go.
7 Replies
Without actively trying it's really hard to jump to the getting nowhere conclusion, I'd try and monitor yourself more closely for a few months to get more in tune. Take your BBT each morning, take ovulation kits and pinpoint exactly when you are ovulating. It may just be that you aren't timing your sex properly and this is why. I was amazed at how I was ovulating completely different to the standard norm because I had a regular 30 day cycle yet ovulated on a weird day (day 20-22) and by that stage we had been like YES sex every day or second day we are so onto it this cycle! And bam, negative yet again. At first we weren't actively trying and were disappointed each month despite taking the wait and see approach.. it's painful none the less!
You could certainly request your partner to have a sperm check, we had the results from my partner's in 3 days. I also had every test and we couldn't pinpoint a problem until I started having 2 x monthly internal scans to check my egg growth (we went via a fertility clinic) and within 3 months we were successfully pregnant.
You need to give it a proper chance to eliminate or dismiss there being an actual cause, massively crossing my fingers for you!
Definitely time to actively try. Also male infertility can occur at anytime and can be caused by loads of factors (smoking, weight gain etc) so important to start having that conversation.
Thanks ladies. We actively tried for 18mths i had all the test to rule out any secondary infertility. Got the all and was told by GP to stop tryong and relax. I have charted and done ovulation kits....still nada. Just had a down moment and nowhere to turn but here. Thankyou
It's really hard to listen to the "just relax and stop trying" theory that GPs so happily give. I was clenching my teeth and fists when they kept telling me that. But then one month we literally stopped trying.. we had sex 5 times that month at random times and we drank, smoke, ate shit, spent a lot of money partying and enjoying ourselves. And then all of a sudden I was pregnant despite being diagnosed infertile just a month beforehand. I genuinely believe us relaxing and enjoying ourselves was the thing that worked for us.
I'd definitely pursue having your partner's sperm tested though, at least so you can stop questioning if it is him or not and have results. The good news is that sperm reproduces on 70 day cycles so it is much easier to manipulate men's cycles as they reproduce as opposed to women's eggs which are there from birth.
Get him to get a sperm analysis done. They're a couple of hundred dollars but very informative and you'll then know. There are things out there that can help with semen production too.
My husband's came under bulk-billing with a GP referral. Worth trying!
Hugs darling. We were having unprotected sex for about 3 years. The first time in that time about 6 months in i thought i was pregnant because i was late only i wasnt and was having a cyst rupture (very painful). Nothing for about 1.
5 years then i did miscarry. Again nothing for another 2 years. Until we decided basically to give up. We talked about hubby going in for the snip and we were just going to focus on what we had. I started working out eating healthy, and moving on. Then bang no period...and it didnt come for another 9 months 😂. Only thing I can suggest besides getting hubby tested is looking at your life style exercise what you eat and drink etc. It totally sux and you want to donk everyone over the head with a slegde hammer for every "it will happen when it happens" or personal fav 😉"just relax dont think about it". So im not going to say those things just sending you hugs