How did I get here how I'm so unhappy all I do is lay in my bed all day I have a smoke I go to the couch I have a smoke I come back to bed I feed the baby I play with the baby I come back to bed I feel so unhappy my partner makes me happy my kids make me happy but I'm just not happy I don't know what to do I have these horrible thoughts of what it would be like if I wasn't here anymore but I'm too much of a coward to even do that I can't get a job I don't know why I applied and apply for anything and everything to no avail I guess that's really taking it's toll I have no friends where I live the thought of even reaching out is so overwhelming I am back in my bed I don't want to feel like this anymore I don't know what's wrong with me I never used to be like this I'm so lost I don't even know what I'm asking I feel pathetic even writing this
12 Replies
It sounds like you are suffering post-natal depression. I'd recommend visiting your GP as soon as possible and getting onto a mental health plan - with a referral you can get a certain amount of appointments for free. It is okay to feel this way, but you need to want to make a change to be able to feel better.
Im not sure about postnatal as my baby is 18 months?
Sorry I assumed much younger by the use of baby, my bad!
You're definitely suffering from some sort of mental illness, depression sounds like it but don't accept a diagnosis from any of us - get into a GP and get onto it ASAP. Try and limit the amount of time you're spending in bed, stop retreating to there and try and get out onto the couch or into another room more to begin with :)
It can be considered PND up to 4 years after birth, so absolutely could be PND. Honestly it doesn't matter what label it has, it sounds like there's something going on. Please go and see someone (GP) and start to get some help. Big hugs IM. I've been there, it can get better xx
Omg I could have written this! Only I have a 4 year old
I'll be checking in to read comments too....
Poor thing I know exactly how you feel!! Some days it's draining being alive I know exactly how u feel, what you wrote, is me!!
Its nice to know I'm not alone my children are 8 and 18 months
You have some kind of depression. I've been there, done that, come out the other side.
Time to go to your GP and tell them how you feel. Help is out there x
First, seek professional help.
Second, make a rule with yourself to cut down time you spend in bed. Even if you just reduce by an hour each week until you're only in there for example, when bubs sleeps and at night. (I found spending so much time in bed was REALLY bad for my mental health).
Thirdly, do something for you. Go get your hair done or nails/massage ect. If those things aren't possible, take a candle lit bath, shave your legs, pop on a face mask/hair treatment and RELAX. Take some time for you, I do this once a week and it helps tremendously. Even if I can't be bothered, I do it because I am always so glad I did afterwards
I dont even know what to say to a doctor :( like i find myself saying surely i cant be depressed ! Ive got a home a great partner and healthy kids ..so wtf is wrong with me i dunno
Depression has nothing to do with how nice your life is.
Anyone can develop depression at anytime for absolutely no reason. That's the reason it's called an illness.
Please speak to your GP. They are very used to treating depression.
You don't have to have a shit life to justify being depressed. It's a chemical imbalance in your brain, sometimes triggered by events, sometimes by hormones, sometimes no obvious trigger.
This is me too!! I have 2 kids 7 and 2 and an amazing husband yet the only thing that makes me happy is being in bed alone in the dark. People keep saying it will get easier but I'm not sure it will.
Being a mummy is a tough gig and whilst I have no answers for you I want you to know you are not alone. Stay strong mumma (easier said than done) I know xxx