How do you all keep yourself emotionally in check? I'm struggling a little but lately. I'm currently have a flare of my auto immense disease and I'm finding it really hard to motivate myself. I need to loose the weight I've put on 40 kilos. I find myself emotionally eating. My violent ex is taking me to court trying to gain custody of our child. I need to get myself into a great head space so I can be emotionally ready to fight this. I don't want people to comment about equal rights because you don't know the story and I don't want to go into details. This post isn't about that. This post is wanting to know how to get myself into the best emotional state I can be in. I have my down days and I'm wanting to have more positive days than bad.
What does everyone do to be in a great headspace? What's things you do to keep yourself motivated? How do you keep on top of your housework? When my house is in shambles it stresses me out even more. How do you all keep your emotions in check? I need to keep myself motivated and get myself back to where I used to be. I'd love any tips anyone has on how they keep their emotions in the right place and how they cope with all the stresses of life or how they've coped with court/domestic violence.
Love to hear all your positive ways.
Emotions in check
Emotions in check
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Mental Health
7 Replies
I find in my situation I consistently have a mental health care plan on the go. I see a psychologist about once every two to three months for top ups but used to go weekly at one point and if the shit hits the fan again I will go back.
I find talking about what's happening, developing strategies with my psychologist invaluable. My psychologist has also helped me tap in to resources that I didn't know were available for me. Things like I didn't know that as someone with a disability I could get someone in to clean my house at a very cheap rate through my local council. I had no idea this service was available.
I also didn't know about a bunch of services available at no cost or low cost in my suburb that sometimes I use a lot of and sometimes I don't use at all, depending on where I am.
As part of my mental health strategies I do exercise, because mentally I feel better for it. Ive made a pretty persistent effort to not associate exercise with weightless. It's something I now enjoy, I mentally feel so much better for it. I found looking at it from a weight loss perspective turned exercise into a punishment. I found starting small was best, so started with a walk around my very tiny block once a day and then gradually building (now I'm a gym junky who also swims). Do what you enjoy and don't do it to punish or hurt yourself.
I used to love putting my daughter in the pram and going for a walk. I used to love pushing myself to beat my last time. She's too big now and it's not something I can challenge myself with because it's just a slow work I find it boring. I have a gym membership but I feel like crap leaving her in care while I go to the gym because she's been there for 6 hours while I work. I feel like I should go straight to pick her up that it's not there job to look after her when I can.
I can't afford a cleaner but I wish I could. It would make life so much easier.
I miss my happy healthy self. I seem to have lost my way and I'm really struggling to find my way back. It saddens me where I am and I know I need to pull myself out of it but I'm just finding it hard this time around.
I know I need to do this though I need to get myself into a happy place because that's the person my daughter deserves! I just don't know how to get there right now. I seem to stick to it for a bit than loose my way again.
I don't have a lot of friends or anything which makes life hard. I don't do a lot on the weekends and I wish we got out to do things more. I used to always sit and do stuff with her or go out and do something now I feel like I'm a cranky hag alll the time. I'm on prednisone ATM which isn't helping me it's probably making me feel so much worse!
I do see a councillor once a fortnight about the domestic violence stuff. But sometimes I don't want to admit how much I'm struggling because I don't want that to go against me and I don't want to be the person that crumbles.
I know I'm in a bad place because all I seem to do is think about the shit stuff and complain to the ladies at work which I need to stop doing!
I need my happy healthy place back.
A good start is being honest with your counsellor.
The cleaners through my local government council costs $10 a week for a few hours work. So don't rule using those government funded services out.
I'd also speak to your GP you sound like you've tipped over in to depression and so that needs to be evaluated. Also you might find you need the DV counsellor and a psychologist. I found the DV counsellor great at dealing with the DV stuff but my psychologist was better at dealing with my day to day stuff.
Keep reaching out. As someone with an illness you might find you are entitled to more help than you are getting.
Google mindfulness.
Meditation honestly helps me. I don't do it all the time but when I'm feeling particularly stressed or in a shit frame of mind, I'll download a meditation app and use it first thing in the morning.
Other wise I was going to suggest a physiologist but I see you already see one!! 👌🏼
I know how you feel i also have an auto immune disease and they are terrible. I write my self a list everyday of the things i want to achieve that day and mark them off once each has been completed. Then you can see by the end of the day what you have achieved. Also if ur drs have put u on steroids for the immune disease try and wean ur self off they mess really bad with fluid retention, mood swings and how you handle anything emotional i now flat out refuse steroids. Try and do some excerise as hard as it is to get out the house or get motivated you will feel better within your self. Lastly if your having a bad day and your disease is flaring then its not the end of the world to have a lazy day on the couch the house work will always been their the next day.
Allow time and space to let the emotions out. Schedule a nothing day and have a good cry. I
Journal so that helps pour out all my feelings onto the page. Time outside in nature is vital. Either walking somewhere nice or just stepping outside bare feet on grass, look up, breath deeply, pet a dog, cuddle the cat. Put music on, light nice candles, have a bath or long hot shower, put on comfy clothes, nice blankie and watch an uplifting or funny movie. That's my Friday night routine, and I can't bloody wait to pick up the kids from school then I'll wash my day off (in the shower) get my nice new jammies on and switch on Netflix. Takeaways for dinner. Win win
I also see a counselor or psychologist regularly.
I love going out for coffee or brunch, either alone or with a friend. I like going to movies during the day on my own too!
I've not done the court battle but I know stress, illness, depression, anxiety. I have to pace myself, I look at my weekly schedule and I HAVE to have a day at home alone, in between 'stuff'. I try to do house work type things a little every day, just keeping things tidy, making my bed, benches clear/clean, etc and I'm more inclined to do other cleaning then, cos I'm not so overwhelmed when I do the proper clean (vac, mop, dust). I don't always vac every week, but I'll sweep the kitchen floor. I'm less stressed if it looks tidy abs relatively clean. I hate clutter, that does my head in!
For Auto immune disease search Medical Medium. For Awareness of the Ego read A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. For opening up to love, forgiveness, understanding and purpose search Doreen Virtue. For getting house work done with motivation, play your favourite music loud or with head phones on