I need some advice from some of you IMs who might have being in my position. I've fallen victim to some sexually transmitted debt from my ex husband. I escaped a domestic violence situation (emotional abuse for many years) thinking that I will be able to make a fresh start for myself and my kids. I have now found out that he has run up that much business debt that any money we have will go to that. I guess my question is do I have to go bankrupt? How does bankruptcy impact your future life. I feel as though I escaped one kind of hell only to be entering a different kind of hell. I would greatly appreciate any helpful advice of stories for other IM's as I'm feeling very scared right now.
9 Replies
My first step would be to make an appointment with a financial counsellor. Centrelink, the salvos, and even your bank can tell you how to contact one. They are usually free, they can give you advice based on your specific circumstances, taking into account debt, income etc and advise the best course of action. They don't have products to sell just information.
You need to call Christians against poverty.
They are free, they are amazing. They will get debt split between you, or even allocated back, they will help you access your super to pay off debt, they can get fees reversed and interest frozen. Often they can get debt reduced!!!
They get 93% of people in the black within 2 years.
Please please please call them.
These will not help as the debts are not your run of the mill debts. The debts are business debts and they cannot not ever be paid back. :(
These will not help as the debts are not your run of the mill debts. The debts are business debts and they cannot not ever be paid back. :(
You need to go see a lawyer to see how you go about splitting the debt and a financial person to see what you can and can't do or would be more beneficial to you before you decide anything.
I have been down this road. Financial abuse by my ex and my own mother. I was in a joint loan with mum and ex ran up credit cards loans etc in my name - some i didnt even know about. Mum walked out on the joint house and declared bankruptcy bank repossessed and sold leaving me in 100,000++ debt. Plus then what my ex left me with. I declared bankruptcy 3 and a half years ago. 3 months out of the initial 3 years i got a phone contract and am rebuilding my credit rating. In the 3 years i brought everything outright saved and saved for whatever i wanted. Only hurdle is my now husband wanted to buy a house and its 100% in his name i have no say over any of it couldnt contact banks etc or help with application -which is my biggest struggle. Im looking at getting a small ex bankrupt car loan next year to build my credit back it will be a high interest but i earn good money and will do whatever i can to get back on track
Don't hand anything over to him.
1) How was the business set up? Is it in his name? Are you actually legally responsible in any way or is that what he is telling you?
2) Solicitor/lawyer up. That way they can demand access to and proof of all documents and/or determine if you are liable for anything
Are you divorced? Have you done a financial settlement?
If you don't have 100% proof already, put the onus back on him to provide legitimate documentation that you have to pay anything.
Good luck.
This sound so eerily similar to the situation I am in. My Ex has also put his own mother in financial debt... I know this sounds crazy but believe in yourself and there will be a solution. Don't let fear overcome you, this is how he stills has power over you. You will be OK, believe it and it will be true. Lots of love XX
I declared bankruptcy last year after my ex abandoned our mortgage/home. It has been terrifically liberating for me. I struggled trying to not declare bankruptcy for a couple of years and trying to sell/rent out our property. I wish I had just done it immediately. I still work full time, in a profession; earn the same income etc. I even got a promotion. I am renting and saving money now and am so much better off. I advise you to get legal advice. I went through Paxtons (over the ph, free legal advice). And go see a financial counsellor (st Vincent de Paul etc have them). I was reticent to see one (mostly pride) but really it is worthwhile. Then if you are sure you want proceed fill everything out via afsa online and lodge.