I'm at a loss. My brother and his partner are hopeless. They only think of themselves and don't really care about their kids. They are constantly sick or have nits. The house is a pig sty and the kids can't even play outside because that is just a jungle full of dog poo. The house has mould all the way through it. I have cleaned the house before, I have offered my help on quiet a few occasions as I know being a parent is hard work and everything can get on top of you. My brother is all about the material things and really doesn't show love to the kids which is quiet upsetting and shows in the kids. His partner is all about herself. The kids are currently sick again and the youngest has been on steroids, she shipped them up to my mums house so she can have a week off so she can get her hair and nails done plus drink :/ ... the oldest is that crook he can barely keep his eyes open and didn't want to be away from home. She told him straight to his face he wasn't going home because she wants a week to herself and of course that upset him. My niece has nits and is pretty infested so I'll treat her a few times before sending her home, she has also asked if she can live with me on numerous occasions as she hates home. My brother expects our mum to clean his house up because he is just a lazy pig and thinks it's a females job. I have made a report to DHS but nothing has been done. I don't want to send them back home because I fear they will just not be cared for properly. I live quiet a few hours away from them so it's not a case of I can pop in every day and make sure they are all okay. I keep making it known that I am a phone call away if the mother needs a hand with things. I also worry about her as she shows quiet a few signs of depression but won't get help. I hope this makes sense. I guess I am wondering what would you do? I know it seems like I am judging but I am concerned. I try to make sure the kids have everything they need and more when I see them or have them. My brother is an asshole and won't share money either. He is literally all about himself and doesn't care about anyone else! I have had a go at him for this and told him to start acting like a father and partner, it falls on deaf ears.
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If they live a few hours away I am assuming you don't get to see them super often, is it that on the times you do see them they're comfortable because they think you're family and don't do things to impress others? From the outside, I imagine we look like slobs to others but we really really try, however when family come over we don't tend to make a huge effort because we *hope* that they don't judge us or get concerned for us. There's just some days we don't feel like cleaning or we do want some time to ourselves. It sounds like the mum has recognised she needs some time to herself (maybe due to depression and embarrassed to tell you she needs help because of the above post?) and has done that, yet here you are throwing it back on her. It's a no win situation :(
Oh they both don't give a rats ass how the house is. They are as bad as one another. Parenting is a full time gig not part time. They also send the kids to her parents more often then not. If you want to live like a pig then go for it but don't have mould through the house and your child suffers.
I had a friend that he brother and his partner where in a simular situation. She spoke with dcp and they ended up taking the kids and putting them in care with the sister/aunty her house went from 3 kids to 5 kids over night. But those kids floursihed the parents had to do all these parenting causes to get them back but where too lazy to do them so the kids stayed with the sister.
I honestly wish they would listen, I'd be more then happy to take the kids so they can hopefully sort their lives out
Keep reporting, take photos of the living conditions (discretely), take note of all the illnesses and keep passing the information alongs to the appropriate outlets. I'd encourage your mother to do the same, keep on hassling them every week if you have to!
I don't mean to be rude but your brother sounds like a jackass! He & your SIL need to get their act together.
In the mean time just give those kids as much love and care as you can.
I think this is my only option :( as I know not taking them back will result in huge family arguments. My brother is more then a jackass and I hate it. We were never brought up like this so have no idea why he is like it.
If it were me in that situation, I would be speaking to a lawyer about the possibility of gaining custody - even if its temporary until they can prove themselves.
Depression or not, these children need to come first.
I have problems with mental health, and I would hope that someone in my family would step up and do what was best for my children. Even if it meant that they were taken from my care.
Can you talk to their school to get the ball rolling?
That is a really good idea and I have never even thought of this! Thank you