My MIL has been pressuring us go on a very expensive holiday with the entire family.
We have 4 kids (aged 6 months - 7 years) and I've tried explaining to her that it's not financially doable or even practical for us all to go overseas for 7-10 days.
She sends us specials she comes across regularly to travel overseas. But the thing is, even with these specials it's still going to cost us a minimum $8,000-$10,000.
I am still on maternity leave and will just not be able to afford it. The problem is my FIL, SIL, BIL and their partners have agreed to go, but they have no children and live at home with their parents - so of course they have the money!
She has extreme anxiety and my husband won't talk to her about difficult things. She keeps making comments like "well, I would like MY whole family there" and "I'm only asking you to do this once". She regularly makes comments about my husband being her son before he is my husband - but that is another story.
What should I do?!
6 Replies
Uhh i feel for you. My family has done similar, pressuring me to go to america for a wedding, then my mum stopped talking to me and called me a selfish bitch and other things. I had a newborn, my own wedding, I was absolutely broke they knew my situation and how completely unreal their expectation was but they were assholes about it.
So I say nip it in the bud asap, declare youre bankrupt and not getting passports for kids and there are no holidays this year or next. Theyre going to be pissy anyway, so you might as well at least save yourself feeling shit and being nagged while trying to be diplomatic.
My mother in law is the same!!! No excuse is ever good enough for her either as to why we can't just spend thousands of dollars on a holiday
Just ignore it, roll your eyes. If you can't afford it, you can't afford it. Not even worth debating or reacting to really.
Tell her unless she plans on paying for the air fares and accomodation for your whole family then to stop suggesting it. You're not going, you don't have a spare $10,000.00 end of story.
With that other issue your husband is a father and husband before he is a son. Once he married you his main role became your husband, when you had a child it became father to his kids. I'd be telling her where to jam it personally.
If you can't afford it, you can't afford it! I don't understand why she doesn't get that...
I'd just tell her unless she plans on footing the bill, you won't be coming and that you'd appreciate it if she'd stop with the guilt trips.
Firstly, would you want to go, and secondly, have her pay for it.
Why the hell is this your issue? Hubby needs to deal with his own family. Oh wait, is she likely to offer to pay for her baby boy and not you and the kids?
Sounds like the matriarch is very much used to getting her own way