I have met the man of my dreams. We have been seeing each other for a few months now and the connection is strong. I have four children though, he has none. This plays on my mind.
I am just wanting to hear stories of meeting your other half when you have children and he doesn't. I just get worried that my 'baggage' will be too much. He is used to a lifestyle of doing whatever he wants, whenever he wants. I fear that this will be a massive change for him and possibly scare him away. So far he seems genuinely interested in staying, but my mind wonders. I guess I just want to know whether this can actually work? Has it worked for any of you?
Relationship with baggage.
Relationship with baggage.
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Kids
7 Replies
Sure has for myself. I had 2 kids and he had none when I met my husband 13 years ago. We have been married now 10 years and considers the kids as his in every way.
yes I have been with a man who has no kids, I have 3, and have sole responsibiity of 3. We are discussing marriage (been together 12 months) and he asked tonight if in the future he could adopt my kids.... he is very committed.
Yep when my partner and I first started dating he had no kids I had a 4 year old from a previous relationship. Now we have one child together as well and still going strong 4 years later :)
Change your way of thinking, how fucking lucky is this guy to get an instant family, with an awesome single mum strong enough to raise four kids on her own. If you love each other, of course it can work, don't doubt yourself xxxx
I had four he had none we now have five lol 💕😊 congratulations!! it will all work out if its meant to
My partner of 5 years has 3 from 2 marriages, I have none - so far so good, or so I thought until the terrible teens actually hit with the eldest son. Now Dad is trying to be his best friend instead of his father and the "secret boy's club" has gotten so far out of control that the son has effectively now replaced me in several key areas - the son is the one that my partner talks to about finance - should he buy a new car or not?, and other things like that. I am getting to a point where I am not keen on either of them and starting to doubt my ability to stay in this relationship. I chose to enter this relationship and took on everything without hesitation. It wasn't until the crap started that I had any reason to doubt my ability to keep going. If he says he wants to stay, let him stay. It is a huge change - from sleeping in until Midday to getting up before six because someone wants scrambled eggs for brekkie. If he is prepared to make that change, allow him the chance to make that change - this may be the only shot at fatherhood that he gets. Please don't allow the secret boys club - or you and your children ganging up on him to happen - it has almost destroyed me after everything that has happened. I will say set your rules and expectations very early on so that he knows what he can and can't say - that is so important. You also need to talk to the children and tell them what the rules are too. Keep the communication lines open and tell him it is ok to want to scream at them - you do it too lol so that he knows that he is not alone in this. He will need space, find ways to give it to him and rest will take care of itself. Good luck :)
I was a child in a situation like this. My mum met a childless younger man. It didnt work for us. He was awesful, abusive and got on a power trip 'parenting ' four kids. Mum was happy though.