More of a rant than question really. Surely the world doesnt think you are not over or pining after the ex just because you haven't 'moved on' yet? Separated 7 months ago. Sick of the constant questions "found someone new yet?" Or this gem "dont stay on the shelf too long or you'll get dusty abd no one will want you" or "why havent you moved on, do you still have feelings for him?" (Um HELL NO) I am just beginning to find myself and enjoy the simplicity of my own company again...why would I want to wreck that? Thinking of making a sign to hold up!
8 Replies
Exactly! My preference in life is to be single, love being single.
I'm in no hurry
Damn right! You don't need to explain yourself to anyone hun!
Hang out with cooler kids.
I get where you're coming from, my mate cops it a lot from her family who are all prolific breeders (add the lack of children and OMG they can be brutal!), hence why she hangs out with me :). I am partnered and have been for over 20 years, our friendship group is a big old mixed bag of perpetual singles, occasional long-term relationshippers (over 2 years) otherwise single, newly relationshipped with a view to long-term, married and divorced (none of the married ones are still married as such even though divorces may not be finalised) and a slut (so he says but we've never seen proof these women exist). Being hitched isn't actually the norm in our circle, we just take people for who they are rather than their relationship status.
Can I join your gang? ?
Oh wow. I was with a new partner after 7 months and people told me I moved on too quick! You really can't win hey :/ just do what makes you happy :) if being single makes you happy, stay single! There's nothing wrong with that.
Did you know if you were in a relationship, you'd be getting judged for moving on too quickly and people would have issues with you having another bloke around your kids. So you do not have to justify yourself.
Enjoy every moment of being single & the adventure that comes with it.
I've been single for nearly 10 years, my kids are 12 and 10. I'm rarely asked if I'm seeing someone (usually by my ex father-in-law) I just say that I'll meet someone when the time is right for me. I would rather be single and happy than end up in another bad relationship (ex is still verbally abusive when it suits him).
Depending on who it is, tell them you've taken a lover, or you're enjoying a variety of hook ups, or you're now celibate, or you're finally out of the closet, use one or all of the above. That'll really give 'em something to talk about! ? Have some fun, it's not that fucking long, it's only 7 months for goodness sake! You can't get divorced til 12 months!!
I made a conscious decision when I separated from husband after 28 years together, that I would focus on me and my kids. There's a lot of grief and shit to deal with, and I wanted to work on my shit and not take all that baggage with me into a new relationship! I learnt to be ok on my own, better than ok, I frikkin love spending time on my own!