So here goes..I know a lot of you may think my situation is pretty swell, but you need to understand the context in which I am writing.
My mum (single Mum) worked her butt off to send me to a $15k a year private school. We are all in our thirties now, all of my friends are doing really well for themselves with great jobs, and beautiful homes.
I have a $90k a year job, though I find it boring and my days are not fulfilling, I am intelligent however have not maximised this. I have a small investment property but rent a small apartment, we can't afford much more in the city. I have 2 little kids. My husband loves me, he is a pretty amazing guy.
Ok so there, now that's I've said it I realise I really do have it all..on paper. But I feel unaccomplished? I feel guilty that I should have done better with my life considering how hard my family have worked to create a perfect scenario for me.
Am I crazy? How can I try to see my situation differently? I'm not jelaous of my friends, I more feel that I have let myself down by the choices I have made in my life.
14 Replies
What are you expecting? You earn above the average income in Australia.
If you enjoy your family and are happy so what, if you could have done something different.
If you want to do something different, make it happen.
Yes a little bit crazy but all the best people are- I think it always helps to think outside of the box when looking for things to nourish the soul,while you are bored at your job it's pretty normal to be even if you have followed a dream but life is truely what you make of it! Go out and volunteer at a refuge or homeless shelter,do what is in your power to make sure someone doesn't feel so down trodden by the world, it may not be your thing but it really is something that provides a feast for your soul. Just start with a small step because sometimes fulfilling dreams isn't about jobs or house or money it's about who you are deep inside and helping others can be such a great way to help yourself
You make more than most people in Australia, I would take a boring 90k job over a 47k job any day!
If you feel unaccomplished in life maybe you should do some studying to get your brain learning? Or take up a class of something you enjoy? Start a bucket list of things and tick them off.
You are very lucky...a lot of people would kill to be in your position right now...
I can't understand the context you're writing in. It sounds like you're just wanting people to reassure you that you have it great and that's it. I don't really understand what you're asking or wanting. If you feel unaccomplished or like you need more stimulation maybe take up some evening studies to push yourself :)
I went to a private school and my parents worked their asses off, it was 25k a year. Three kids at that school right from primary to secondary and none of us have much to "show" for it as such. One is currently on the dole after losing her job, another overseas travelling and I'm in admin earning 50k a year. I'm intelligent also but have no interest in pursuing anything else. My parents could not be prouder of all of us no matter what!!!
I agree...it seems like this post is humble bragging to me :/
Do you have a bucket list? Other things you want to achieve?
If not,aybe make one and start ticking things off.
I can see where you're coming from (although I'm not in a situation as you) but I definitely don't feel as though you're bragging.
I just think you need to step out of the box a bit to make it feel as though you are doing more and not just living life Day to day, you know what I mean?
I think a lot of people are going to struggle to empathize with your situation honestly. Just for perspective a huge amount of people in our country live below the poverty line, you sound extraordinarily lucky. Maybe lucky isn't the right word, you need to give yourself credit here for creating the opportunity to earn 90k a year.
If you're talking in the context I think then none of us can really tell you if you're 'doing OK at life' to use your words. Life isn't a contest to see who's the richest, has the best job or perfect family. You can list off all your achievements on paper but usually the things that bring us the most joy aren't degrees, good jobs or fancy education
Do you feel you somehow owe your parents for providing you with a private education? Please know that you don't, you can't live your life to other people's expectations.
What more could your family possibly ask of you, you sound very hard working, driven and motivated, perhaps you're just being too hard on yourself.
I think if you focus more on what makes you happy rather than what else you can achieve you will feel much more fulfilled.
Spot on!
Sorry, what exactly is your question? I'm not sure what you're trying to ask apart from how to see your situation differently and I'm not really sure what you mean by that?
I think it sounds like on paper you're doing better than fine. How lucky are we! Well paid job - check, I'm a little behind you but the odd bonus pushes it up, education - check, mine was public and varied but it was a complete to yr 12 education, intelligence - check, and common sense to boot which appears pretty rare these days, amazing guy - I don't know how I jagged it but thankful I did and he's all mine, ability to have kids - easy to take for granted until you see the pain in a friends eyes, opportunity to buy property - a hot topic for many years now. Comfort, small luxuries, even hope. We have in effect done better than winning the lotto.
If you don't actually want more, turn your need for fulfilment to giving rather than doing/earning. To make the lives of others a little bit better for you being in theirs, even if it's by proxy and they don't know you exist let alone your name. Small cash donations, helping raise money, using your skills to help improve an organisation, the options are many.
Perfect! I agree just a little perspective change and refocus can do wonders for mental health x
Yawn
I think you need to learn to appreciate what you have. Maybe start a journal where you write three things in life you are thankful for everyday. Positive thinking does a lot. It seems you are doing a lot of negative thinking which can be really damaging.
The problem is you have lived a pretty stress free life, no seriously sick children, no marriage breakdowns, no significant financial stress, no abuse, which is fantastic. However, the saying rings true, you can't truly be happy if you have never felt true sadness, you can't truly feel accomplished if you have never hit rock bottom etc. I think volunteering in some aspect like a soup kitchen or DV shelter would help you put everything into perspective for you. I kind of feel sorry for people like you, who can't really appreciate what they have.