Normal man or peado?

I told the babies parents and told my ex they knew and really don't know about his ex and police, he is a good dad apart from this one time I saw this, really serious allegation to throw around if it wasn't what it looked like, some sites say men have reactions with contact and yes they should remove themselves, that's the thing that didn't happen n made thus so wrong, but it's a yer ago now n how can I prove anything.. He lies and manipulates everything so much that even I have doubted events in the past even when I know happened because he did things to me like push me n then denied it to me! and then his family. But I have no doubt whatsoever that this happened as I have been upset ever since and tormented what I should do if anything, spoken to a good friend many times about this and never felt at ease with knowing and not having acted or saying anything. But as with everything I have suffered with him he will just deny and say I was lying and somehow manipulate with select texts and emails and sick recordings edited. To suit his purpose, an incident on holiday of him being verbally abusive, then edited it to make himself sound kind and caring, sick and was final straw that made me finish relationship.

Be very clear when reporting. Say what you saw and what they were wearing but don't say "maybe it was a missunderstanding" stick to facts. And btw he wouldn't have such a hard boner from a little reaction the first tingle and a normal man would remove himself like you said. And she was bouncing on his dong not his belly sooo wrong. They don't need proof all they need is a few words from the child. She's old enough to remember at it will at least end in him never having her alone again

Def tell the mother and probably she will contact CPS, but you will no doubt need to be a witness of the events. She might have had a gut reaction to things too and thought she was imagining it, this might valid her feelings also. You and the ex could work together on this.

I mean work with his ex, the mother of the daughter being abused in your story, NOT HIM!!

Most of that behaviour is called gas lighting.

Most of that behaviour is called gas lighting.

I wish I had said and acted at the time!, I was being abused myself by him and only now feel able to stand and face him and what he has done. Also hearing that edited abuse audio he has had for a year!, sitting there in a pc I have used freely to make cds.., guess I saw the true depth of his depravity and that triggered the fear for what else he may be successfully concealing from the world. It was a no where to hide or deny situation that he was sinister enough to have recorded me unconscious laying in a puddle of my own urine in pain and shock and him shouting at me over and over, but to have edited it!.. made my blood run cold.
I've just been over to his ex and she already knew, he had been round crying putting on his victim act after having seen the letter I wrote his friends who have the baby girl. he has convinced his ex I am lying and she says she knows him and was married to him for 10 years. I asked if she had spoken to her daughter and asked her and she said what should I say.. She is six!, she doesn't believe me.. Now what?!

Hi, I am quite shaken by the suggestion of rape, I have spent time with him and his kids and I know he loves them, I think his actions were wrong on this occasion with regards his daughter but I think his love for his children Is genuine, I just think he needs to keep himself in check and be more aware of his conduct and maybe avert his eyes when a naked child is laid in in front of him. Pedo is a strong word and I certainly wouldn't think rape would enter his head. He isn't perfect and clearly our relationship brought out the worst in each other, but re child safety I am taking the safest rout given what I saw and clearly no support from mother to investigate with her daughter. I won't post further on this as its now in the hands of the authorities and I wouldn't want to compromise the situation, but thank you all for your advice and encouragement to speak out. X

I guess this is why I had to pass this over to someone who can deal with it properly, I can't bare the idea that any of that may me true.. But it's also not now my fault if something happens in the future and I could have spared it happening. I feel like cr@p for having to do this, but I know it was the correct thing to do and as hard as it is for then to understand.. I did it for the love and innocence of the children. They say no smoke without fire.. I pray to God this time they are wrong because I truly loved that man and would feel disgusting if he turned out to be what I fear most. And more than that his children would be devastated. Don't have a clue what happens next, I guess time will tell x

Wow, he filmed you unconscious, major red flags... His ex wife says she "knows him" a lot of wives/ex wives make that claim and yet look at the peados that have done it "long term" and yet no one suspected.... Rolf Harris, the "dad" from hey dad are two obvious ones that people "knew"..... Sadly most are manipulative, the groom their victims "well" and that's what he is doing, grooming the kids... What would he have done with his daughter if you weren't there

Thanks for your replies and attempting to understand my position at the time. The thing is I don't have any proof at all saying it now any more than I did at the time it happened, as with all his abuse is was trail less and seen or experienced alone, his daughter may be able to shed some light if she has had any other experiences, I hope she hasn't in a way but in a way want him caught red handed by her saying yes this n that happened.,. But she is such a beautiful innocent thing and if all she had ever known is bounce games with hard uhums beneath her how would she ever know that isn't normal, that's what I was worried with his ex, she said her daughter would tell her if someone touched her a certain way, but he has been careful not to touch from what I have seen, I hope he hasn't!!, oh god this is too nasty to think about!. It's out of my hands now, not my responsibility thank God, I couldn't live knowing what ide seen n saying nothing and walking away, I was safe at last but were they.. Had to be done!. Still feel like cr@p tho. R

Oh my god that is a horrific life experience, I am so sorry for you and your family, thank you for sharing that.
I have reported to all concerned, so hopefully people in the right positions will be asking the right questions and not just looking at the surface. I fell in love with the man his family and friends see, he didn't stay that way for long, maybe 6 months. It's all in my past now thankfully, but it tormented me that it may not be for the kids, I can sleep again now knowing I did the right thing by them. I don't suppose I will hear anything unless this goes to court, and if it does then I know that they found something they are worried about. Feels a bit like throwing a handgrinade from a car window and not knowing what happened after, if anything is being done, are they acting on my report and taking it seriously or has he and ex wife convinced them there is nothing to worry about with his victim act and her ignorance. Guess time will tell.R

This comment is not necessary. She has already stated why she had a problem reporting it ie. because she was getting abused herself by the man and has now reported it since leaving him and being able to get herself back on track. Abuse victims can't always work up the nerve to come forward with these things trust me my stepsister has recently reported sexual abuse against her mothers husband (she can't stomach the fact that her mother married this man and can't understand her mother not being on her side even when she has pretty much said to the police she knows what's happened AND says "oh well you must have brought it on yourself") so how about unless you have something helpful or kind to say you keep your unhelpful words to yourself.

Thanks for your post, I'm sorry your mum didn't act on your bravery to speak to her, some mothers I think don't want to see it or deal with it and maybe fear losing the individual.. Can't call them men.. Who is accused. People get irate about abuse, it's fine I can take it, I expected some.. But as you said my position was deeply confused and after I split up with him had 2 days of literally constant shaking like I was having a nervous breakdown, didn't sleep or eat, paranoid, quite literally. Thought I was having a breakdown. Luckily I have been brought up strong and came thru it faster than many, but now in cold light of day am glad I saw and heard all I did and the audio I heard clarified the monster I had been sharing my life with. Yesterday I spent the afternoon making a statement for the assault I experienced Easter Sunday, I know it's a waste of time, but I'm doing it for the kids.. To prove my mental state and his control and anger and why they will likely feel his control over them also and not speak out if they have experienced things with him.
I don't know if anything else has happened or could happen with children and him, but doing what I have MAY highlight it or eliminate it, but walking away knowing what I did wasn't sitting well with me and the possibility my gut was right was too much to bare risking. I would die for his children, so saying this is a minor effort, I will take whatever abuse he his family or anyone throws at me, because a child's innocence is precious and fragile and without it the adult they become is always less the person they could have been. My love to anyone who has experienced abuse at the hand of an evil person, and yes no matter what.. Report it!! .. Even if it's just a gut feeling or a doubt, better to be safe than walk away and leave the victim unhelped and unheard that is further abuse And empounds the abuse as life long insecurity x R