Hey ladies,
Need a vent,
I go to the gym 5 days a week and there's a chick there(fiancé of one of the trainers)
When she sees me she looks away/down,her fiancé does the same,
I don't have resting bitch face and I like to say hey or wave to people,(not over the top) but a friendly smile while walking past,
She's very fit,goes in comps etc
I can't figure out if she's stuck up or just doesn't like me,
I know I shouldn't care but I do....
I'm fb friends with most of the staff and always have a friendly chat to them everyday but she seems to not want to acknowledge me at all,
Like I have a disease or something,
I was training today and she started to train next to me,I looked up and caught her eye but she didn't smile and looked away,so I did the same,
It was so uncomfortable I went to the other end of the gym,
I know it's stupid but I always feel so shitty when I come home,
13 Replies
She's probably just introverted and feels weird saying hi. I am like that unless it's a good friend of mine. I wouldn't let it get to you.
Agree to the above poster. I do similar, I am never the first to say hello and avoid eye contact at the best of times. She's probably so focused when working out that she just gets the job done, whilst she has a great body maybe she is self-conscious and avoids discussions whilst working out.
Have you added her on Facebook? That could be a start, just to get her to say hello. She may feel threatened by your outgoing nature and avoid you for that reason :)
Don't take it personally. Not everyone is the say Hi to everyone at the gym type. There are some people at my gym who are there every time in there and they just don't say hi, or smile. They are there to work out and that's cool. That's the only reason they are there.
Some people like a bit of socialising at the gym. That's cool too. Some people will say hi but not chat, that's cool too.
It's not about you, it's about what there priority is at the gym. It's not a judgement on you.
Not everyone enjoys chatting. I hate it especially bumping into them again and again its awkward. then I wouldnt enjoy going to the gym. it seems she goes there a lot to do her thing. Id just give her space. it doesn't reflect on you at all.
When I go to the gym it's just to work out. A quick hi to the staff as Im walking in and then I'm in my zone. Obviously I wouldnt intentionally be rude or snob someone but to be honest I probably wouldn't notice if someone smiled at me cause I'm just focused on what I'm doing and in my own head space.
Don't take it personally
I agree, the gym is where I burn off steam and I genuinely want to focus on My workout. I pay my membership and don't owe a stranger a smile, wave of anything else.
I have to agree with the other posters, some people just are different and don't like to make small talk,when I go to the gym it's just to get some alone time and head space- I will always say hello but try to avoid chatting- and I see people like you all the time and am always inspired by how open and friendly you are- for an introvert like me it's hard to imagine being able to do that! and I know I don't like being rude but it's really socially awkward for me to chit chat so maybe she is the same, or maybe she has had bad experiences with others at the gym, maybe she just wants to focus- I know it may seem rude or stuck up to you and I can see where your coming from and love how you like to be friendly and positive there needs to be more people like you ,but some people just have their own reasons for not being so friendly or appearing to be so and that's ok too just keep it to a friendly smile and maybe soon she'll be able to return it
It has nothing to do with you, its about her. Maybe she is simply at the gym to work out, not chat! I know my partner gets annoyed when hes at the gym and people keep trying to talk to him when he just wants to use the time.to.focus on his work out. Or Maybe shes just extremely shy...
I mean this with absolutely no offence but why would you want to distract someone from their workout? Most people want to go, do their workout and go home. She may not be acknowledging you because she doesn't want to give you a chance to spark up a conversation. It isn't rude to not want to make friends at the Gym. If some people want to chat then that is awesome but ignore her and don't take it so personally.
Do you see her chatty with other people, ones she knows or doesn't know?
I'd say hi and start a convo if it was me, you want to be able to enjoy your workout, not have this dread every time you go there
I was dreading going back,just because it feels awkward,
But I just gave her space and will leave her be from now on,
I'm getting slammed on fb because of this post,so my anxiety it going through roof,so
I won't go on and talk about her now,?
Thanks everyone,
I have anxiety and depression so it takes a lot for me to actually go to the gym,
I posted this 6 days ago,I had a bit of a rough week last week and was overthinking it and prob was too sensitive,
I have a quick chat/hi with a couple of the staff then I'm straight into my workout,
I in NO WAY stalk her as some have said,
If I happen to walk past her between rooms they look down etc
I don't walk around the gym trying to get her to smile,wave or chat,
I don't care if we never chat,I don't want to be her bestie or make her chat with me,
Or try and add her on fb,
All I was thinking is why not just smile,
I have my headphones on,but walking to a piece of equipment if I see a regular I smile and get on with it,
I was brought up where a smile doesn't cost anything so I guess some ppl aren't the same,and that's cool....
I've since gone back to the gym,and have ignored her,
And have gone out of my way to be at opposite ends of the gym to her,
I given her the space!!!
Thanks again ? Xx✌?
Some people are just anti- social or just like to keep to themselves they have their reasons, never assume anything though. There is a girl I work with who will never greet you and when you say " Morning" she will completely ignore you and you think what's up with her? But then there has been a few times I had to tell her a message about work or tell her something is needed and she will talk to me in a friendly manner.