Trigger warning
My husband and i recently seperated due to on going dv, iv tried my hardest to stand by him in his moments of need but my kids are seeing way to much and its honestly like they are broken,
He left our rental and is currently looking for his own, but im extremely stuck, my entire single parenting payment (ftb + single family) literally just covers rent, child support will not get us by with everything else, i had a major melt down last night because it was so overwhelming, i have no savings and only one friend, the others took off long time ago because of my husband, i literally cant do anything that doesnt effect me more in the future like breaking lease for a cheaper place but even then i still have no money to move, plus my husband is taking his share in the bond and ill have to make that up,
So my question is this
Could we parent/live together but remain seperated? We have 6 months left on the lease and have every intention of going our own ways, alot of our issues is from what we expected from eachother so im thinking it could work seeing as there are no expectations? Split everything 50 50 so i can save and be ok in 6 months time,
My feelings have significantly fizzled out recently the more i think about past events, has anyone done this and it worked?
Ill also add iv got 3 children, 2 children to him - 11 yo, 15 mo and nearly 4 mo and we have been together 5 years but married under 2, issues started with my pregnancies.
6 Replies
I'm going to assume he earns more than you so why don't you leave him to pay the rent there and move into a cheaper place yourself.
No, you can not share. Because he can't behave himself.
Speak to a DV organisation and see if they have other suggestions.
It states that she can not afford to move either, no savings...
Contact your local housing commission (in South Australia that's HousingSA) as they can pay your bond.
DV organisations have access to services like removalists who can move you for free.
Also in SA HousingSA will pay your rent if you are in danger of being evicted.
Honestly if your ex can move in so you can use the services to move out then that makes sense.
Hi, I want to tell you that there is a period where it gets really fucking hard - he makes sure of it, and you start to think its just easier to go back, or work together, but DONT DO IT.
Fight through, set yourself up and you will get over this bump. Its hard but you've done the hardest part, but its not over, now get your second wind and keep fighting.
You know that if you move in with him what you hope will happen will not happen, in six months youll be even more stuck than you are today. They have a way of doing it.
Hey honey,
I have been in a domestic violent relationship. I left many years ago but what I've learnt is, the violence doesn't end just because the relationship is over. So to answer your question about continuing to live together, the answer is no, don't do it. The abuse will continue whether in physical or emotional form.
Have you seeked support through domestic violence services. I need to state that once you have got in touch with these types of services, the support is amazing. They can help you move out. They can help you financially. There is help out there.
If you unsure where to start to seek the help, speak to a police officer at your local police station. They have access to many recourses or speak to someone at your local community centre. They will be able to point u in the right direction.
Good luck. You have taken a courages step. It will be tricky to begin with but so much better in the long run.
Live in NSW Australia ? Contact Dept of Housing (FaCS). They have financial support packages available for people leaving violence that can include maintaining the current tenancy or finding alternative accommodation. Never put your children (or yourself) at further risk for financial reason. If not in NSW - contact your State Housing authority and ask them what they have available... Reach out to violence support services - they know their industry and what is available. I hope that you and your former partner can work through the concerns over time and that the children get to enjoy the best of both of their parents.