Hi everyone,
So abit of a back story I have been separated from my ex husband for over 5 years now. I have 3 children with him however he has chosen not to see them. The last time he made contact/seen them was in Aug 2013. Even before that time I was always the one chasing him to arrange for him to see the kids. There were only 2 times I refused him to see them due to turning up drunk and the 2nd time being threatening to kill me in front of the kids. He refused mediation or getting court orders in place so there is nothing legal in place, I was always open about him seeing the kids. Also to add the children are special needs kids so contact was always done in a way that didn't overwhelm them as directed by specialists.
But fast forward to now they have no idea who he is and never ask for him or any of that side of the family, they see my new husband as their dad. We have stayed living where we are to give my ex a chance to be a father to the kids but we have reached a point where we need to move for financial and also lifestyle reasons. We are looking at two options to move one is 6 hours away the other is interstate no decision has been made because we are still looking into the school side of things. But I'm wondering am I able to move without promission or do I still need his ok even though we are going on 4 years of no contact because of the distance we will be moving??
3 Replies
Given there are no orders in place, you wouldn't need his permission. However, if you move interstate he could file a recovery order which would mean you'd have to move back with the kids. If he did this, you would end up in court over custody at which time you'd have to prove his lack of contact with the children, and give reason as to why moving is more beneficial for them as opposed to staying where you currently are.
I would strongly recommend you seek legal advice, or at the very least contact Relationships Australia. It'll give you a better idea of where you stand and of your options.
I moved states twice, no problems. I didn't seek permission.
The father hadn't made contact in a number of years. Of course he could have attempted to take me to court but I doubt under the circumstances it would have been successful.
Just move, the chances he even finds out you've moved, or cares that you are moved is remote.
If he hasn't bothered to make contact for 4 years it's unlikely he'll apply for a recovery order. You could ask his permission but this may open the idea of him seeing them so it's really up to you if you want to risk that.
If it were me I'd move, he may not even find out or care so it's highly likely he won't do anything.