I recently went on a clothing shopping trip with my beautiful 16 year old daughter, when I caught sight of myself in the mirror standing next to her I realised for the first time I was seen as my nearly grown daughters mum, not a sexy, good looking young thing that my mind tells me I still am, but frumpy, bags under my eyes and certainly nowhere near as slim as I think I am or used to be!
I know this seems trivial compared to some very sad issues being presented on here but how do you lovely ladies over the age of 35 cope with that sudden realisation?? It all seems so silly written down but I'm struggling with it :(
How to cope with getting old?
How to cope with getting old?
Posted in:
Self Care
5 Replies
People your own age and older still think you are a sexy good looking thing. It's only the 16 year olds that don't think you are!
As I got closer to my 40s I realised I am much more than just my looks, men still find me attractive and sexy and still want to sleep with me. I just stopped caring and started measuring my self worth very differently.
I'm far more confident in myself now than I was back then, because I just don't give a toss. Confidence is incredibly sexy and my personality, brain and what my body can do and does is far more important. Those bags under my eyes, mean I've lived, those scars are a story to tell. Those wobbly bits, I earned those.
It want immediate for me to start feeling that way, I really had to work on it. But shit I'm pleased with myself.
Leaving behind those pert boobs, the tight ass and crinkle-free face also means leaving behind the uncertainty, the self-loathing, the general shit that was my youth. I cope by reminding myself I'm trading up, not growing up.
The stretch marks show that my body, no matter how much I abused it, carried a baby and the wobbly bits, well at least now I have boobs. The lines on my face are mostly laugh lines, back when I didn't have them I didn't think I'd ever have anything to laugh about so they're another success story in themselves. I rarely get bags under my eyes, I work in a stressful role so I prioritise sleep.
Even my definition of sexy is different now. It's not looks or a skinny ass at all. It's the confidence of knowing my partner wants me, it's the knowledge of what makes me feel good and not being afraid to make it happen, for me it's looking at the man I made a baby with 20 years ago and still wanting to fuck like rabbits. We're old and the stamina isn't so much there anymore but the want definitely is. It's a fine balance of being adventurous and bold, yet respectful and considerate in life and in love.
It's not really trivial because western culture glorifies youth and youthfulness, vilifies those of us who dare to grow older and fucking look like it but there's something to be said for the confidence, independence and wisdom that comes with maturity so I wouldn't trade any of what I have now to have those pert boobs, tight ass and crinkle-free face back.
Grateful for every year. Its about being healthy and happy. Aging is an absolute blessing. The alternative is no so great
I could totally relate. Two years ago I felt and looked so old!! I started exercising and twelve months ago I started burlesque dancing.
I'm still no stick and yep I still look my age but through dancing I've found a love for myself.
I guess my advice is embrace who you are, find an interest that's just for you and start loving the shit out of yourself
I've been feeling a bit like this recently, so I've gone back to wearing make up and making an effort to feel more confident. I changed my FB profile picture recently and have had a few random guys message or friend request me, which is an amazing boost to the ego. I'm 41.