Another question has prompted me to ask, but lots of people say when a young child has discovered touching themselves feels good, they eventually grow out of it. What do you do when they don't? My 9 year old girl still does. I always thought that telling her to only do it in private in her room was the right answer but now she will hide away and do it. When she's been naughty and put in timeout on her bed I've walked in on her playing with herself cause she was bored....
I'm personally of the opinion that the pleasure that comes from touching yourself should wait til your older but I'm also trying not to make it a big deal and make sure she knows sex when older is normal. But now I'm doubting myself. Maybe I should have told her earlier that this is not appropriate. I do not believe a 9 year old girl needs to be masterbating.
So what is normal? When does it become too much??
When is it too much, and what is normal for kids touching
When is it too much, and what is normal for kids touching
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Health & Wellbeing, Behaviour, Kids
6 Replies
It can be very very normal. Every child is different and as long as she is doing it in her room by herself it's not causing her any harm at all.
By growing out of it people generally mean they learn the social rules, become self conscious and start hiding there behaviour and doing it in private, which sounds exactly what your daughter is doing.
As long as her desire to masturbate isn't taking over her desire to join in other activities. Eg she is turning down opportunities for outings, activities so she can go to her room and masturbate, it's very normal.
little babies play with themselves, baby boys get erections in the womb.
I have been doing it since I remember...I was probably 6 or so when I first started. It's not causing harm and she's not doing it in public so I'd just leave it. I think if you make her think she is doing the wrong thing it will make it worse...it's a taboo subject but a 9 year old masturbating is actually really common.
It's a subconscious thing for many kids. It's like chewing there hair or biting fingernails.
Oh please don't pass your hang ups on to your daughter. Seek counselling for yourself
I'm a perfectly normal 39 year old woman with 2 children and I've been masturbating since I was 4 years old. I remember being in the car, going over a bump in the road when I was desperate for the loo and having an orgasm, from then on I was determined to replicate the feeling.
You won't be able to stop her doing this, please don't make an issue of it and tell her that it's a normal thing to do in private. I'm sure so many more girls do it than we realise but it's still very taboo around girls. Xxx
I think I understand your concern. UNLIKE OTHER POSTERS ON HERE!! While it may be 'normal', and certainly not something to create shame or guilt about, I do think it a great idea to address this behaviour in a non-confrontational way, if your reasoning is that you don't want her to always turn to masturbation as her source of comfort, pleasure, distraction, etc. And not to have such a need for it. Unfortunately I was caressed across my nipples and had a hand put down my pants when I was about 8 - this did lead me to me masturbating for that tickly tingly feeling even tho I didn't like what that boy did, and unfortunately my parents were of the type to not really address the whole scenario properly. Anyway, Yes it IS sexual, and could cause her to desire sexual gratification earlier. We need our girls to be comfortable with their bodies but not to RELY on masturbation - there will be enough of that when she is actually sexually aroused by movies, boys, posters, books, etc etc as a teenager - but I agree, surely there is time enough to wait for that and be older, and just enjoy being a girl (child) without this habit. Best of luck to you hunny, I do hope you can stick to your principles and feelings about it, and not get swayed or over-ridden by the majority of forceful replies.