I'm sitting on the lounge feeling like I want to curl up and cry. I don't even know why.
My house is a mess. My daughter won't clean up after herself reckons she needs help. She's 4! Pretty sure she can pick up her toys that she pulled out.
I'm lonely. I have no friends. I've been separated 2.5 years from domestic violence. I'm so lonely that sometimes I wish I just had someone. Someone to ask how your day was. Someone that would just come chill out and do nothing. Not even a relationship just someone to do things with. Every time I've tried to organise something everyone's too busy.
I'm so so lonely. I feel like I'm doing this alone.
I just feel like I'm going to crumble. I work part time and than come and do house stuff and that's it. I try to get out but that's still just myself and my daughter. I have her 100% and I wouldn't change that but I just wish I had someone to do things with. I'm happy on my own but sometimes the loneliness just becomes unbearable.
Am I the only one that feels like this? I just feel like I could climb into bed and not get out. I'm so sick of my house looking like a dump.
I've lost all motivation and need to do anything. Sure I don't always feel like this but every so often I just feel like I could give up.
What do you all do to pick yourself up? How do you make friends that are willing to do things not just Facebook friends.
I don't even know what I'm asking I'm just venting I guess.
11 Replies
I was there.
Down load the meet-up app and look for some social groups in your area that suit you. Also Google parents without partners, see if there is a group in your area.
If there isn't a meet-up group that would suit you, start one. It might take time to gain some momentum but it's worth a shot.
If you feel you have no motivation and lack support to do your housework why can't your 4 year old need help to clean up after her self? Same/same
Speak to your GP about how you are feeling too.
Are you in Melbourne? If so, I'd love to catch up :)
I joined a pept boot camp to get motivated to be fit and to try socialise a bit more. I have a partner but I find I still get really lonely as he works long hours. I have recently started having dinner dates with my bestie every wednesday night (we alternate between my house and hers and cook for each other) and it is such a nice change to have a weekly catchup instead of catching up once every 6 months because we didn't make it a priority.
I can also relate to the house being a mess, I have found if I help my 5yr old with her set jobs that she is more motivated to help me tidy up as it's something we're doing together. Start with one room at a time, I find if I can clear my lounge room, tidy the kitchen and quickly make the beds it makes it look a bit tidier and I feel like I can actually get somewhere if I then tackle each room. I have also started putting a load of washing in the night before with the delayed timer on so that it washes right before I get up of a morning and I can hang it out straight away.
Sounds tough! FYI you are doing a great job with your daughter. I'm on my 4th four year old and in my experience they rarely pack up without assistance. I literally have to give instructions one item at a time to get mine to put things away. It is sometimes harder than just doing it myself! ? Consequently, my house is a mess more often than not.
I think you need to find your people, there are loads of single Mums doing it tough, it really does help to find others in the same boat. People you can visit whose house is as messy as yours. Someone you can have a wine with while your children pull out every toy in their room.
Good luck, I hope things improve x
I could have written this word for word myself. I wish I had the answers ...
Look into joining a playgroup in your area- definitely gets me out of the house and i have made some wonderful friends through playgroup as have my children x
This is a phase, when you stop missing your abusive ex you will enjoy being on your own. Nobody coming in yelling at all hours, waking the house up, picking fights over nothing, hiding your stuff, stealing your money etc etc. enjoy your own space. I totally get it. I'm stuck living close to an abusive ex because he is a sociopath and convinced the court that he was the victim, my family are all overseas where I'm from and I'm stuck here alone where he has smeared my name through the mud. I've cried, I've cried so many tears I can't understand how I never drowned, but it got me nowhere. The only person who can get me out of this mess is myself. I am lucky that a few people offered me a hand when I left him and for the first time ever I accepted, not only did I accept help but I learned to ask for help when I needed it, from there I have met some amazing people who have become a handful of close friends. Sometimes I go days without hearing from people but that's fine, I reach out when I need to because each and every person is dealing with their own dramas and we are all battling something. Where are you living? My daughter is also 4, if you're close by (FNQ) I'm always looking for new friends :)
If your in brisbane I'd be happy to meet up, you sound like me
I could have written this pretty much word for word, I don't miss my ex just sometimes some company would be amazing, quiet often I find my self just crying once the kids are in bed :( its hard but we will all get through it
Hunny you don't need to on your own to feel this way - the loneliest I have ever felt was when my marriage was crumbling rather rapidly - we were both in the same room but a million miles apart. Just start going out - simple things like going for a walk in the park for 30 mins - it will do wonders for your emotionally and physically. The hardest step is the first so just take one and then two and hopefully at the end of a couple of weeks, you will start to see the same faces and go from there. I am introvert so I find it hard to make friends as it is. the best advice I can give you at this stage is fake it till you make it - fake the smile if you feel like crying. Try to read the newspaper daily so that you are up on what's happening in the world so that you can make small talk then ask their opinion and keep asking questions - it becomes second nature after a while. But always always be genuine in your reaction to other people - I think you would genuinely surprised how many other people feel this way too most of the time :) Good Luck - you will be fine, one step at a time
Hunny you don't need to on your own to feel this way - the loneliest I have ever felt was when my marriage was crumbling rather rapidly - we were both in the same room but a million miles apart. Just start going out - simple things like going for a walk in the park for 30 mins - it will do wonders for your emotionally and physically. The hardest step is the first so just take one and then two and hopefully at the end of a couple of weeks, you will start to see the same faces and go from there. I am introvert so I find it hard to make friends as it is. the best advice I can give you at this stage is fake it till you make it - fake the smile if you feel like crying. Try to read the newspaper daily so that you are up on what's happening in the world so that you can make small talk then ask their opinion and keep asking questions - it becomes second nature after a while. But always always be genuine in your reaction to other people - I think you would genuinely surprised how many other people feel this way too most of the time :) Good Luck - you will be fine, one step at a time