Ok so I'm just curious. Why is it when our children are babies everyone including doctors say that they learn at their own pace. Then as soon as they start school everyone freaks out. The teachers are comparing my son to the other students and it's just got me so mad. Like with how he moves around and gets up and just how he does stuff. I honestly can't see a difference in his and other children's movements and it's really annoying me. Like if there's any difference it's small. He's only 5 still so small and already so much is expected of him. One minute it's "he's fine" next it's "he's behind" I think it's effecting me so much because I had really bad memories from school with being treated different like something was wrong with me and I don't want the same to happen to my son. He already hates school. Fine when he's there but when home he says he hates school
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We had the same about 13 years ago. Dr referred us to a specialist and they gave us a list of movements and games to do regularly to help him out, we did them and it was never a problem again. School was happy, he was developmentally "normal" and it gave us something else to do together.
It's hard, I totally get it, anything negative people say about our kids is like a knife to the chest and there are always nerves for us when they first start school. Try to relax, don't take what the teacher says personally and recognise they are there to help you and your son. It takes some kids longer to adjust, try to work with her and remember she has a class full of 5/6 year olds, so she does know where he sits within his peers. Some kids take longer to settle in, this is not an indication of the rest of his whole school career, it's not how you start but how you end that matters, no one got into medicine based on their prep report!
He shouldnt be compared to others. Hes not behind at all. He should still be running his own race. The teachers have a curriculum which markers skills he should be working on at this grade and markers different levels of accomplishment, so he should be measuring against that and working on improving, no comparison to others, unless she is showing you an example of what he is working towards or that he is really struggling in areas.
nobody should expect a change overnight, just areas to work on and things to practice to help him get there. If youre not sure, speak more to the teacher about how you feel
I never believed that they ALL learn at there own pace and not all doctors believe that either. Some kids do need a bit of a nudge.
But from experience teachers in the first years of school are under increasing pressure to red flag children. There are a large number of children who arrive at school with undiagnosed conditions so they go over each child with a fine tooth comb. Everything no matter how minor is noticed because the fear of a child falling through cracks or not getting a little bit of extra help is immense.
I'd rather a teacher pointed out something than ignored it. It's much worse when teachers don't speak up about issues and it's brushed aside and later it's discovered all the while the child is struggling or could have been receiving help.
A great example is my sister who the teacher assumed had an intellectual disability so never made her do any work. I can assure you my sister does NOT have an intellectual disability, she just decided not to bother at school because there was no point. But she could read, write, draw etc at an age appropriate level. An entire school year was wasted because the teacher didn't say anything to my mum! She is now a DOCTOR lol
If they are talking about his movements, it could be something really simple, like a gross motor skill thing. My mother is a specialist teachers aid (specializes in autism and Down syndrome) but also runs something called "Funastics".
All the 5 year olds come and play games to see how their gross motor skills are, these often effect fine motor skills (like writing) as well. It's simple things like balancing on one foot, hopping, jumping into a hoop and out again. You'd be amazed how may kids can't do these things these days just due to lifestyle changes.
Ask to speak to the teacher and one of the senior ESO (educational support officer). Get them to be specific and list exactly what there concerns are. Then ask them to help you make a plan for everyone to use to get him where they think he needs to be. It's their job to help you help your son. Use the resources they have!
It is the teachers job to notice these things then tell you about any concerns they may have. What you believe to be age appropriate behaviour may actually be very disruptive classroom behaviour. The fact that the teacher discussed this with you shows they care about your child, remember that next time you speak to them, they are professionals after all.
We are going through the same.
We have an outside kid who does not see the point of reading.
Prep he was allowed to roll around.
Year 1 he had extra help and an amazing teacher.
A's In everything and his reading was a D.
He is now in year 2 trying very hard and student support are on our case making out that he will basically fail at life.
We have seen OTs and Paediatricians, they all say wait till year 3.
The teachers are saying see another doctor. We have seen 3 of each.
He definitely has a learning difficulty but he also is not reading by choice.
No tantrums, just cannot be left alone as he just will not do it.
The opinions from student support is doing my head in.
When tested he knocks the test out of the water.
His attitude towards reading is horrid.
His behaviour with the reading set aside is fantastic.
Frustrating!
There's a (fairly wide) range of what's considered "developmentally appropriate" behaviour for both babies and kids, which is why when some babies are walking by 10 months and others are still crawling when they're 18 months the doctor or CHN won't worry too much. It sounds to me like the teacher feels as though your son is exhibiting behaviour which is not developmentally appropriate and is alerting you to it.
It might be something as simple as getting a referral to an OT for some specialised assistance or it might be that your son simply isn't mature enough to be at school this year and you maybe could pull him out for this year and send him next year.
Instead of being afraid or projecting your own experience onto this, think about the fact that this teacher wants to help your son, she wants him to succeed AND she wants to look after the best interests of the rest of her class. A disruptive child can be detrimental to the rest of the kids. Set a meeting with her, find out what her concerns are and follow up. If you want your child to succeed in school, take any and all help and advice that's offered. Do you want him to grow up feeling different like you did? I'm guessing no. Help him.