Hi ladies, after some advice. My 10 y.o child doesn't want to go back to dads. We share 50/50 and his new partner and her children have moved in a few months ago which has been nothing but bother for my children. Neither of my children like her. My 13 year old keeps detesting that she wants to move with me full time. I know she can have a say in where she stays my lawyer has already said that. My younger child tonight is so worked up about going back to dads tomorrow that we sobbed ourself to sleep. The issue is this new 'family' and my children being rejected and replaced by these new children ( I know I need to elaborate but don't want to give identifying info incase this woman is a member/Facebook like) now my 10 yr old wants me to call dad and tell him that 10yr old won't be coming back and when I ask when they might want to go see dad I get 'I'm not ready mummy don't make me' I don't want to force them to go somewhere where they say they're miserable (I get several calls a week from them demanding I pick them up) I guess I'm looking for what my steps are from others who have been through this?
7 Replies
What court orders are in place? But as a starting point tell the dad how they are feeling and ask if they can stay with you until this is sorted out. Tell your ex that you are happy to negotiate alternate plans in mediation or between the both of you. Send that in text too.
But if there are court orders in place you really need to speak to your lawyer about options long term.
There are consent orders but not custody orders if that helps. Thank you for your reply :)
Consent orders and custody orders are the same in the eyes of the law. So definitely seek legal advice asap.
But definitely communicate how the kids are feeling.
Is the child comfortable enough to tell their Dad themselves? Even over phone just to say "Dad, I don't want to come this time" and take it from there.
I firmly don't believe your kids should be made to go there if they don't want to, that's horrible.
Thanks everyone - had a chat to dad and we've worked out an arrangement while we work through their issues :)
Yay! Well done
Maybe I should clarify based on the Facebook replies that when I say we sobbed ourself to sleep I mean the child not me... I just didn't want to say he/she for identity reasons - perhaps I should have used the word they!!