What do I do?
My ex recently found himself in some trouble, he participated in some online fun with a woman via skype. She filmed the whole thing & is threatening to share the video to everyone on his facebook. (He added her as a friend, she has his entire friends list) when he didn't reply quickly enough to her she sent it to me to prove she was serious. She has so far recieved $250 from him with a further $300 to be paid next week.
This is where I've been dragged in, she has saved every picture of my 1yo little girl from his facebook. Some of them are her in the bath with her privates obviously covered but the rest exposed. She has messaged me saying if he doesn't pay x amount by x date she will post these pictures of my baby on every child pornography site she can find. She has also messaged him telling him she can make sure he never see's her again.
I am beyond furious.. I have told him he needs to go to the police to ensure our daughters safety. He says the humiliation from having the video leaked will destroy him & he's not going to the police. This isn't the first time he's been scammed but this is the first time it has threatened our daughter. He is currently more than happy to continue paying her off even if it means not paying child support which has been proffesionally assessed but is privately collected. What do I do? How do I get him to understand my point of view? Is there anything I can do from my end to deal with this problem? I am so scared for my baby. Thank you in advance.
*EDIT* I have been to the police, thwy have said there is nothing I can do unless he comes forward himself & because she has since blocked me they can't track her profile. Our police station is not knoen for their capabilities dealing with cyber issues.
15 Replies
She has threatened your daughter to you. YOU need to go to the police.
Oh my god take the messages you have received with the threats to the cops yourself!
You go to the police.
You go to the police yourself!! You protect your little girl and who gives a shot weather he's humiliated in the process or not. It's your daughter at stake!!
And then you go to child support and get them to collect on your behalf!!!
I took what I recieved to the police station via screenshot's. She blocked me after saying her piece so her side of the conversation is gone now. (I had already saved it to show my ex) they asked some question's, tried to contact my ex who declined the call then basically said they can't do anything unless he himself comes forward! I apologise I should have included that information.
Go to another Police station! Maybe even ring child protection and ask their advice, seeing as she has threatened your baby! I don't know what I'd do if I was you. You must be so angry. Your ex is selfish though putting your daughter in this by not helping and talking to the police. This person sounds like a real nut job! Good luck.
Just re-read your post and his humiliated by the video!!! Your baby has been threatened!!! WTF!!!!!
I'd also wouldn't let him have access to photos of your child. His judgement is seriously warped. I'd be organising mediation with him and putting in place a no photo on Internet rule and supervised visits
We don't have court ordered visitation so coming to an agreement regarding the posting of her pictures online will be discussed before he can have her again, if he's not willing to put her above his own selfish needs then I will do it for him. I am a naturally private person so everyone in my friends list I know personally. He has no problem meeting women online & accepting them on facebook or sending them pictures of her on messenger. He seems to have no concept of stranger danger. That is the only policestation in our area. I just don't know what to do about her having those pictures. I report her account everytime he tells me she has a new one & it get's deleted. She had him send the money to the phillipines if that helps?
You need to make contact with the Australian Federal Police, not just your local cop shop. It sounds like an international scam.
You need to make contact with the Australian Federal Police, not just your local cop shop. It sounds like an international scam.
So you learn from it. I would not be letting my child in his care whist he is so irresponsible. For not paying maintenance or for the risk and possible harm already caused. Police are to busy to bother with threats ect, until and act has happened you will be doing well to get assistance with actual crimes far worse happening every 5mins. Any photo you post on fb is at risk. So if your stupid ex should now better. When was the act he was involved in happen? When your child was in his care? I would be livid just at that. Imagine if your child saw that. Big girl pants, sounds like a drama for him to sort. Dont post pictures on the net you dont want circulated. Fb is a playground for hackers and even tho you think your pictures are ok, they are so easily stolen and photo shopped. I would delete my fb account all together. Remove yourself from his drama well and truly.
I feel for you. This happened to us recently. Your local police can't help. The cyber crime squad have a minimum 8 week backlog that is growing as they can't keep up with the problem. Unfortunately, unless the black mailer is within Australia there is not much that can be done to stop them. You can get in touch with Skype admin and send screen shots of the threats, you will need your ex's name and log in details, and they will remove the user. You should also get in touch with Facebook (be patient here because it took me half a dozen attempts plus a few friends also getting in touch with them) and tell them that the user profile is fake and what has happened and that you want them removed. Get as many people as you can to report the profile to Facebook. Finally your ex MUST remove himself from all social media for at least 8 weeks. This was the advice given to us by the cyber squad. What this does is gives the blackmailer no way of contacting him therefore no way to extort any more money. They will move onto the next victim. I hope it all disappears soon, I can't tell you how many tears I cried and nights a laid awake worrying. Even now, months passed it still crosses my mind.
Hello,
I haven't stopped thinking of you and your daughter since I read this a few hours ago. Have you taken this further? What was the outcome?
The outcome is this: I have been to a number of meeting's with a special task force through the police station that I originally approached & continued to do so until they took me seriously. They have the pictures from my exes facebook so they know what to look for & can contact me if they're published. I have contacted CSA & his child support is now collected through the agency. I have been to a lawyer, my ex has no contact with me. He has not seen my daughter in over a week. He will not see my daughter until he has reached out & begun mediation. At best he will get supervised access. I have contacted his family & informed them of what happened & why he isn't seeing her. I have their support 110%. The blackmailer, to my knowledge, hasn't been paid again & as of yet I haven't seen the video posted online. The blackmailer had at least 6 accounts & he was literally the only friend on the account. It should have been a huge red flag for him but he is a complete & utter idiot. This post was shared on facebook & the women there gave some half decent advice. I have deleted my ex off facebook, I cleaned my friends list out, twice, & I'm really hoping this will be the end of it & myself & family can move on.