So my son just started Kindergarten​ this year and has been invited to a birthday party, I also have a daughter 10 months younger than him that's in day care, brother came home and flashed his invite and now lil miss wants to go.. I'm sort of conflicted on what to do.. do I ask permission from child's mother to bring miss along too, or do I try make her understand that her brother has met new friends from big school and just he is invited.. (my kids are use to being around same kids at daycare etc, being so close in age they usually do these things together, this year is different)
So just after opinions really, what would you do
Ask permission for younger child to come
Or just let my boy go
Birthday party and extra child
Birthday party and extra child
Posted in:
Kids
14 Replies
If i have to bring other kids i usually ask the parent first. If its a play centre or something i usally pay for the extra child
personally this is one of life's lessons for children and sometimes they just get told no and we have to cope with the fall out. Your son is going to be invited to stuff and your daughter is going to be invited to stuff and they aren't both going to be able to attend each other's things. That's just life.
So if I could leave her at home I would do.
The only reason I'd ask if she could attend is if I absolutely had no one to watch her and I was expected to be at the party, rather than drop and run. I might ask if I knew the birthday child's parents really well.
I just take the other too but expect nothing for them. It happens a lot and most of thetime theyre included easily enough. Its nice to let the host know or ask if its ok. Once at our party the mum bought 4 siblings and made them sit out at another table despite me offering for them to join in. I sent cake over for them and at the end I let them raid the food table and take it with them.
I usually just ask if I can bring my youngest,I haven't gotten a "no" yet.
I think it's just something she needs to learn from a young age. Growing up we hated it when people would be "that" parent who had to bring their other kid. Generally they're planned around that specific age and having her there she will hang off your son. Let him have time with his friends and just take her elsewhere that day .. maybe for a special treat or something.
If it can't be avoided, I would let the mum know, I have never minded and they have always been apologetic, husband working at last minute etc. But if it can be avoided, I don't think it's right to bring a sibling at all. They all get their turn.
I would make this a life lesson for her (unless you cannot find a babysitter). There will be lots of times where she will be invited to things and he won't or vice versa. Like someone said, perhaps you/your hubby could do something with her and a friend or playcentre to keep her distracted.
We personally are not at the stage of inviting kids without parents or age specific invitations only I.e. We usually invite my daughter's best friends and siblings plus parents, but in saying that when I'm planning a party it is quite specific to the parents and children attending so I'd be a little put out if I had to do additional catering or pay extra for someone uninvited. Our parties have always been at play centres so a cost per additional child. Our next party will be at home but also provide lunch and beverages for adults so will be quite costly. I will tailor the party so the party game gifts are specific to each child and I would never feel ok leaving a child out so it would mean additional cost (and thought) for an extra child.
In saying that the person may be ok with it but that's just the way I feel.
U dont like leaving children out so you hope they dont come so you dont feel obligated to include them? saintly. Noones asking you to do anything or add any extra cost to you, an extra child (or 12) at a play centre/park/pool etc would not affect you at all, but you want the mum to arrange a sitter so she can go and hang out at a playcentre and listen to other peoples kids?! Thats madness.
I never asked for anyone to pay for another sitter so get off your high horse - I said if she's didn't have a babysitter than she should ask. If I'' paying $500 -$1000 for a party hell yeah I have the right to invite who my daughter wants to invite. You don't have to like it...it'a not your money. No need to be so judgemental...I said it was MY opinion and what I do. It won't suit everyone and I understand that. Also if everyone asked to bring their other kids to a day 12 kid birthday it would be another 12 kids attending! Each to their own..but that's MY opinion!
Is Dad in the picture? Or a grandparent? If so, leave her with them.
Your son now has his own friends. He deserves to spend time with them, without his little sister.
If you can't leave her with anyone, then politely ask if she can come, but you make sure she doesn't cling to bro. And provide your own food for her.
To be honest this is when it is important to explain why we dont always get what we want.
It is really selfish to put the mum in an awkward position.
I (or my husband) often have to bring the second child to birthday parties. It's life with kids, you'll get used to it as they grow up! Sometimes my husband is away and I'm on my own with them both, but usually I'm working and my husband does the weekend things with the kids. If we need to bring both kids I okay it with the party mum when I rsvp, and always pay for the second one myself if it's at a play centre or movie or whatever. I've never had a problem so far. I explain to the second kid that it's not about them, and they probably won't get a party bag. If by some miracle we have both parents home for the weekend, and one kid is invited to a party, the other parent does something special with the kid that misses out. Park, playground, cafe, grandma's house, catch up with friends, whatever. No need to get harsh with tiny tots! Make it fun for both kids :)
I am a single mum. I found in kindy, it was pretty much expected a parent stays at the party....I always informed the party parents I had a younger child and asked if it was ok to bring them. If at a venue, I always offered to pay for them. It was never a problem. X
Mine are 14 months apart now 6.2 and 7.4 years old. Usually who ever is invited goes.
Sometimes that cannot happen, I always ask this goes for play dates as well.
They know who ever is the uninvited kid doesn't get cake, play games or really join in the party at all.
They don't mind.
Although I do not mind if other bring siblings to our parties, I always have enough food and cake for everyone.