I have 3 kids ages 3 and under, really want your thoughts on leaving kids in the car for short time i.e. whilst paying for fuel or dropping one into daycare quickly. All these transpire in 3 mins or less and majority of the time can see them but cant help but feel judged and guilty.
I make sure that they are in the shade with windows down and/or make the car almost freezing before I get out. Getting them out and back in would turn into at best case scenario 10 minute operation meanwhile crossing driveways and car parks with a less then co-operative bunch.
I had a scenario today were some other mum's made me feel incredibly guilty. I was dropping my 3 year old off to kindy where I usually stop in the quick drop off zone because its shaded, close to the door and the staff can see the cars parked there.
However the entrance this morning was blocked by 2 mums standing and having a chat next to their cars. So I parked in one of the most visible parks available, made sure the kids were comfortable and quickly ran in dropped the 3 year old off in just over a minute.
As I rushed in and out of the daycare the 2 mums blocking the drop off zone gave me the most blood curdling death stares I had ever felt. When I got back to my car my two sons were fine and the car wasn't hot, still cool with the windows down.
Their death stares have got me so upset I teared up with guilt the entire way home. I don't like leaving them but I feel by getting them out I'd endangering them more by running the gauntlet of cars, not to mention probably pissing people off by how long it takes to get them in and out for the sake of a minute or 2 if i'm at the fuel station.
Feeling really torn about this subject I know its a real grey area but what do you do in these situations?
20 Replies
Don't feel bad. I always do it. Even copped evil looks. Like you I always leave ac on make car cold and leave windows down. Only leave kids in locked car when I need to pay for petrol. Get cash out of ATM or get things like milk and bread. I can always see the car. I have 4 kids under seven, 2 year old twins that weigh a ton to carry. 4 yr old that has a mind of his own and a seven year old that listens most of the time. I asses it as being more dangerous to take all kids out of car where they can get hit by a car doing a runner on me. If anyone has the nerve to say anything to you tell them where to go!
I'm not really sure as my kids aren't up to the age of kinder yet but I leave the kids in to get petrol or try and make it a time my husband is with me. I feel like the right thing is to take them in to kinder drop off though, personally.
I don't want to sound insensitive to your situation though. I know what a pain in the arse it is to always have to lug kids in and out. I'm just lucky I can put off certain things until I've got help or whatever. I imagine I'll want to do the same thing once I've got 1 in kinder. Just not sure that I would.
Yes. Obviously depends where, like I am not going to go into shopping centre but fuel yeah. I have 4 kids 10 months, 4, 8 & 9..
I do it if as long as I can see the car, paying for petrol, buy milk, returning a movie, unpacking shopping etc. If will be out of sight or could get held up I take them, cant risk others thinking youve left them in a hot car unattended with the charges these days.
See i couldnt do this my anxiety kicks in and i assume the worst. I went a got fuel the other day and i have a newborn and a 4 year old that demands anything and everything and i punished myself taking them both in even though it was only meters from the door and I could see but it only takes a split second for some creep to come along or even someone jump in and drive off if you left it running for the aircon. I just cant. But by all means no judgement from me what other people do is not my problem lol
Back when I was 17 and pregnant with my first child I was getting fuel with my partner at the time and as we were paying we saw a car slam into a parked car outside so hard that if there was any kids in the back they would have been killed or seriously injured and for that reason I never leave my kids in the car anywhere because that still haunts me to this day almost 10 years later.
One day I left my twin toddlers in the car whilst running in & out to pick up my older son from kindy, it was pouring down rain so I decided to quickly run in while the twins waited in the car for me, i was in the closest car park so I could see the car also. I wasn't home long before there was a knock on my door from the cops lol someone had seen me leave the twins in the car and got my rego number called the police I spoke to him reassured him that was not even 5 mins and he said the witness had also told him it was not for long only few mins but still he gave me a warning not to do it again and the risks for leaving them etc
There's always one nosy Parker that thinks they know what is best and most of the time they have never been in similar situations
I think it's ok to pay for fuel without lugging your kids in and out of the car as long as it's not for long periods of time then I don't see why not
Hmm, 20 years ago I definitely left my kid in the car to pay for petrol but mostly used the pay at the pump petrol stations.
I most likely wouldn't leave my kid in the car now. I don't leave my niece and nephew because they are not my children and the laws have changed significantly. Plus when I pick up my niece and nephew from daycare it's not always possible to get them out of there in 5 minutes. Sometimes they are in the middle of a group activity, or the room educator needs to tell me something or she needs to go to the toilet etc. turning what is could be a 5 minute pickup into a 15 minute pickup. So my nephew and my disabled son have to come in with me.
What do I do in these situations?
I take my children in with me for pre-school drop of.
It would be increadibly irresponsible of me to leave them in the car.
I do leave them in the car whilst getting petrol though. (Or if I need cash and I can park a meter or two from the atm).
I know it's a pain in the bum dragging kids around, but it's the safest thing to do.
I left my toddler in the car a couple of times to pay fuel, always felt guilty about it, it just didn't sit right with me. One night I watched a show about cars blowing up in fuel stations and I never did it again, it scared the shit out of me. I remember one mum whose car blew up saying, usually I leave my kid in the car, so thankful he wasn't with me on this day. I think parking really close to the ATM is okay, but drop offs, in all honesty, I wouldn't. Sometimes you can get held up, but honestly it was 1 day, don't let it get to you. When my son was in prep, I was having a bad day, really tired and frustrated, my son had lost the keys and I yelled at him (he is a really quiet good kid too) and one of the prep teachers (not his) was walking past. I think I cried for about 2 hours. We ALL have these not so perfect moments and if any tells you they haven't, they are lying! Chin up, brush it off and forget those judge mcjudges!!
I dont ever leave my 2 yr old in the car alone..i know it is a pain in the butt getting them out and back in when you are only meters away and only for a minute but you just never know if someone is going to walk up to your car and take your child within that minute or take off with your car and kids if keys are left in and Although its probably not likely, it does happen! Also someone could smash into your car or if at a petrol station it could blow up/catch fire or someone could run up the back of your car..i think its best to be safe and just take your kids with you..it might take an extra 10 minutes of your day but you would rather that then having to live with the regret of your mistake for the rest of your life if something were to happen..
I see why it's a struggle to get them in and out (I have to seriously think about it sometimes and I only have 1) but they're safer with you than in the car. If something happened you'd never forgive yourself! It takes the time it takes, and it will get easier as they get older. Take them with you.
Not true at a petrol station ! Most assistants at petrol stations will actually advise u to leave them in the car ! It's much safer then trying to cross across all the cars going in and out ! 1 child is hard when it's your first but by golly 3 is a completely different ball game !!!!
I'm kinda shocked how many people think it's ok. Kids are not animals or objects. Their not something you can just walk away from when you need to do something
There is a difference between walking away to do something for 1 minute and walking away for 15mimutes ..... are u saying that if you had three tiny cherubs you would honestly get them out of their buckled car seats EVERY time u paid for petrol ? Everytime you forgot your purse inside the house (despite JUST putting them
In the car ? ) every time you jumped out of the car for 1 minute ?? You either have not been in this situation or you have need a reality check !!!!! Because our children HAVE TO BE SAFE in super duper car seats getting them
In and out is a marathon every time !!!
Some people really do take thr kids out religiously, some even believe its illegal not to! Can you imagine their life?
Petrol station I do it all the time . I have 3 under 5 and the car seat buckles alone take forever . Preschool drop off no but our preschool you can't see the cars once your inside and my kids want me to stay for a minute before I leave so it's never only aminute .
I have also left them in if I duck into the corner store to get milk or bread but it's only Meters away from
The car .
This is a very controversial topic that EVRYONE has an opinion on . Esp people in a different situation then you !
The whole 'don't leave your kids ever ' idea is typical of our society where we live in fear of EVERYTHING or ANYTHING that could happen .... we know too much of something that happened to a friend if a friend of mine or just what we saw on the news the other day ...and it makes us scared .
Be careful precious people will dob u in and it is technically against the law (insert eye roll ) but it is meant to deter parents from leaving kids in the car while they go shopping or the casino or leave them unattended for longer periods of time ... there can not officially be a 'safe' amount of time to leave kids in the car not can they allow for every different situation within the law so they make a blanket rule and statement that it is never ok....
my suggestion if people are watching you like at the daycare get them all out , if not then do what you do your children will be fine ! Xo
I've always thought this topic was absolute insanity. I hear stories of people calling the police because someone left their kids in the car while they paid for their fuel. Utter madness. What's the difference between that and those mums you saw chatting next to their cars?! I bet they had their own kids sitting in their cars for much longer than you had yours sitting in your car. I always used common sense - still do. If I can see the car, and if it's not going to overheat, then it's a no-brainer. Leave them there if they're sleeping or happy or safer staying strapped in than crossing driveways etc. If they're going to be out of my sight for a minute or two, I'll use my judgment at the time. Definitely making sure I take the keys with me, especially now that they're older and will undo seat belts etc. I urge you not to feel guilty over this!! Those mums are ridiculous, and probably pretty uneducated. I'm totally with you on this xxx
Probably more chance of them being hit by a car crossing the carpark with you then anything actually happening to them for those 2 mins in the car. I always leave my kids in the car when paying for fuel. Im not going to get them all out to go inside pay then be back a minute later to put them in again.. fuck that. And while im at it, fuck those nosey women at daycare too. So much judgement between mothers these days argh.