To the people who commented on my post. I've loved this page for people to give there thoughts. It's helped me work out if I'm over reacting or if others would think do etc the same thing I am. Or Letting me know if I'm over reacting etc
I posted last night and I've since removed the post. It was the weekend and I couldn't phone the person we are seeing. I was going over shit in my head and wanted others unbiased opinions.
I'm a little bit offended to the people who commented saying I'm doing wrong and I need to seek professional help. On my other post I had said I had spoke to someone and was just waiting for our appointment which has happened.
I can not accuse him of anything unless I have solid proof. Yes it's a sad world but until I 100% know soemthinghas happened with proof than I can not do anything.
All I can do is be extra viligent, ensure she's not in equipment with her dad or out of sight with him.
I am and always will ensure she is protected! I have numerous times told him to stop.
I also need to tread a fine line where I'm not over stepping and saying things too much. So unless it's something serious I need to address then I need to let the visit take place.
I have made numerous phone calls, had an appointment with a professional and I am getting as much advice as I can.
For a centre for visits there is a wait list. I have enquired.
So to those people that commented on my post last night this page is meant to help others not judge someone saying there not doing enough because I can assure you I most definitely am doing everything I can! I have deleted my post because of people's attitudes. You've actually made me feel worse than I did when I posted because my heart is breaking and I'm trying to do what needs to be done. This isn't one little bit easy and I've always protected my daughter always! Everything I have done I do it for her because she's the one that matters!
I don't think I'll be posting again for awhile because people's judgement isn't fair when I had said in a previous post I was waiting for an appointment.
10 Replies
Hi, Im glad you posted again. I just want to say your daughter shouldnt have to wait for something drastic to happen and proof to be reported. Please raise the bar, for her sake.
Shes still in the middle of an abusive relationship, and shes suffering, thats why people feel very strongly that something needs to change.
This is one of those times you need to really consider that people are trying to help and the general view is that what your daughter is still going through is really really unacceptable, use that as a measure, instead of getting defensive and shutting down and cutting them off.
All the best sorting it out and getting your little girl out of this shit situation asap.
I am horrified that she made that little girl sit through yet another visit, this time with his sleazy friend.
The problem is you expect us to remember everything from before. I'm sorry we just don't remember everything because your questions are one of very many.
I would have to scroll back through 100s and 100s of posts to remember exactly what has happened.
It's not that I don't want to support you. It's just it's a very complex situation that really genuinely requires a response from a professionally trained person who knows your case in detail.
You asked what I would do, I'd wait until I had an appointment with my counsellor and ask them. That's what I would do.
Oh and please, if you aren't already, get your name on that waitlist for supervised visits. For your sake and your daughter and yourself.
Even if you have no proof, there are enough red flags to be VERY concerned, I have been following your posts. You are potentially making your daughter see her abuser, how would you feel if you were raped and then had to sit around and talk to that person (even with others present). You just don't get it. You ignored when he told you about wanting to teach young people how to have sex, asking you about your teenage sexual experiences (most of us would have run), she disclosed to you sometching untoward happened, her skin irritation in her private parts has cleared up since he has gone, your gut told you something wasn't right when he insisted on taking her to the toilet, but you still don't want to offend him. I don't take back anything I said lastnight, you have no excuses now, you are aware.
I also wouldn't be on the internet for hours writing posts asking for advic and waiting for appointments, I would have already been down the police station. Here's an idea, instead of getting angry with us, get angry with your peadophile ex, you priorities are all wrong.
Yes this is the thing people do remember her posts and the problem is it has been a long time but still, every time, nothing has changed in the situation and she is still hell bent on keeping the arrangement as is, while asking serious questions about the wellbeing of her daughter. Just from reading this post, she is not in a place to be responsible for supervising his visits and she shouldnt be, someone else should do it.
I really hope she does keep writing in and taking the advice given seriously. We're not against her and just really want to help get them both out of this asap.
Yes, I guess you are right and much for rational than me, well said. I just can't get my head around this whole situation and why she hasn't taken any action.
Well I think I have an idea about that. Shes been in an abusive relationship with him and hes still manipulating and threatening her and it clouds your thinking and decision making. She feels like she has control. So shes compromising to keep it this way. Because if she makes it official its out of her hands, and what if the system lets her down, its scary...
What was the original post about? Sorry I didn't read your first post.