Hi all, this is long but I want to give all info to gain good knowledge so I can help bub as best I can. Please bear with me.
I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy 8 days ago. The day he was born he was not latching at all and was diagnosed with a tongue tie. It was snipped 2 days later. To my surprise he did not make a peep and there were 2 or 3 drops of blood. He latched then and there after the snip and fed for roughly 45 minutes. I saw rainbows and unicorns - but he didnt latch again.
Another 2 days passed with no latching, so I went in to see my Lactation Consultant again. She was away, and another LC informed me his tie was not snipped deep enough, so he was snipped again. This time it was what I consider to be very traumatic. He screamed like he was being tortured and bled so much. The LC was putting so much pressure on it that he was screaming even more. He was screaming so much he could hardly breathe. It was so traumatic, for both he and I. I still cry when I think about it. He latched there again and fed for roughly 45 minutes.
Fast forward to today, 3 days later. He has not latched properly since that feed. While all of this has been happening, I have been expressing and giving him a bottle or using nipple shields, but he struggled with the shields also.
When it comes to breastfeeding, he will latch and have 2 or 3 quick suckles and come off. Latch again, 2 or 3 suckles and come off. Over and over and over until he either falls asleep or screams because he's hungry and sick of trying. I try to breastfeed for as long as I can (or he will allow) before resorting to a bottle or shield. Surprisingly, I have all the time in the world. No matter how long we're trying for, I dont stress, im calm. I speak in a soft, low voice, pat him softly and encourage him when he latches (not that he understands but hey, worth a try!) so stressing bub out is definately not a possibility as to why he wont stay latched.
I have tried all I can think of. Letting bub find the breast on his own, squeezing milk onto my nipple (or into the shield) first, increasing and decreasing the amount of breast tissue he's latching onto, waiting until he's wide awake, shoving it in when his mouth is wide open mid cry.. Every position. Bub across my body, football hold, baby on top of me, me supporting him with my right arm and using my left hand to guide the left breast into his mouth.. Im pretty sure I have tried it all :(
The shields were hit and miss. I upsized and he caught on pretty quickly, but after every feed he is sooo incredibly windy. He screeeeeeams like a trooper and it takes forever to get all of his wind up, sometimes close to or over an hour, and thats continuous pats, rubs etc. Im talking 5+ full on, loud adult burps and more farts than I can count. We know when its all out because the crying stops immediately and he flops, relaxed and content again. He brings his wind up almost immediately with the bottle. We have never had an issue with it. I worry about feeding him with the shields as I dont like seeing him in pain.
My LC is currently away and will not be back until next week. I fear that during this time, he will get so used to the bottle, its teat and its flow, that he wont ever get on the breast. Has anyone been in a similar situation and bub eventually breastfed? Can babies go from bottle to breast? What could it be? Is there anything else I could try? And lastly, if he never latches, is it possible to successfully pump and feed for a year minimum? Has anyone done it? Did your supply diminish? My supply is great at the moment, easily 250mL per pump. If thats what it comes to, I am more than happy to continue pumping, as long as he's getting breast milk.
I worry that he could relate the second tongue tie snip trauma to my breast, as he was made to feed immediately after. Could that be it? I do not want to call the ABA. I called them once before and I got a lady with a screaming toddler and baby in the background. All she did was scream at the child and tell me to keep trying. No help at all. Aside from that, I would prefer physical help and someone to see his latch.
Sorry its so long, im feeling so helpless. Any help would be greatly appreciated xxx
10 Replies
Can you go back to the hospital? back to the maternity ward, call your midwife or go to the community health nurses. Yes i know theyre not LCs but they are women who can help you hands on right now, which is what it sounds like you need.
My LC said there were 3 others in the hospital if I needed help while she was away. Every time I call, no one answers or the maternity ward says there are none in today :(
Community Health have visit me 3 times and told me to wait for me LC to return. Midwives refer me to her. Its all a circle and everyone points at the LC, poor thing.
It my son over 5 days of every feed having a LC help me get him latched on and even then it took a week or two longer to get the latch established consistently. We had to feed him by syringe!
It was effing hard work to be honest.
Is there another LC consultant you can see? Have you tried the ABA?
Honestly what got him over the line was a dummy.
Thats what I feel like I need, a live in LC hahaha! Please see my above reply in regard to other LC's. Bub has a binky and it hasn't really helped with the feeding unfortunately.
My partner actually did say that we should try taking it back to the syringe and start from scratch so he doesn't get used to suckling anything, then try the breast again after a few days or a week. Perseverance!
First of all you are doing an amazing job! No one tells you how hard breastfeeding can be and how exhausting pumping and feeding can be.. There is so many things it could be but yes bub can go from bottle back to breast. My story with my first was pretty similar to yours however we couldn't just snip her tongue tie and would've needed laser surgery which we opted not to do. There is a great Facebook page that I am on called Tongue and lip tie support australia. Also what state are you in? In SA they have cafhs centres with highly trained midwives.
What we used to do - attempt latching to breast several times and give her a go, then use a nipple shield (maybe try a different brand, I found the medela ones by far the best) and then finished with a bottle (I had to use formula because I never produced enough milk). Then at 8 weeks for some reason she attached to the breast and fed! I personally think that because she also had a lip tie she was unable to open her mouth wide enough to get a proper latch on the breast when she was smaller. I also found doing skin to skin helped keep us both calm and more often resulted in a longer latch.
Good luck.. Keep persisting.. know you're doing an amazing job
Oh thank you! Breastfeeding is very important to me. Nothing wrong with formula, but im a boobie Mama.
Thats exactly what I was doing. Putting him on the breast before every feed to give him a go, then trying a shield, then eventually ending with the bottle. When I upsized shields (Medela) he got it straight away but my God the wind! Its not worth the pain he goes through every feed. Breaks my heart.
We decided this morning that we're gonna go back to a syringe for a couple days. Start from scratch and then try the breast again. Its gonna be exhausting, but hopefully that helps.
First of all, I think you're amazing for going on this long! Kudos to you for persisting.
I'm going to say something now, and I hope that it doesn't a) upset you, or b) put you off continuing to try but with some types of ties (deeper ties), only a certain percentage of babies end up on the breast despite having a revision. I hope for your sake it works out for you, but I want to think that you're prepared for the eventuality that it may not happen and that you might have to continue to express and feed by bottle or go to formula. Because that can be devastating for some mothers who are set on the "breast is best" mentality when it doesn't work out. Fed is best and you are doing the best thing for your baby by feeding him in a way that works.
Sometimes, despite all of our efforts and best intentions, breastfeeding direct from the breast doesn't work out. And that's okay.
I wish you all the best.
My niece was 12 weeks prem. My sister pumped every 4 hours at home and took her milk into hospital. After syringe and bottle feeds mixed with breast feeds, she eventually became exclusively breast fed. Good luck xx
You're doing so well. Don't worry it takes some time. Can you just go into the hospital? They usually have a breast feeding clinic and they will help if you rock up. At least mine did. Even with my second it took a while to get used to her and she to me. Wind could be shield but I would also explore other causes such as your diet. Also angle of nipple, really open mouth, speed of flow (maybe the baby wants faster or slower). I hope you find a way. Some great YouTube videos of vertical positrons that envisage wide mouth opening. I needed to ask lots of people for less of ideas for weeks for both of mine. Eventually it worked. For a year each.
Well done to you Mum (and Dad- It sounds like you are both trying this as a team).
Tongue ties and lip ties are so hard on a new family.
Have you considered having your baby assessed by a manual therapist? Physiotherapist or Osteopath? There are often movement restrictions in babies that add to a poor latch and an increase in swallowing air when feeding. Also - there are usually stretching exercises and suckling exercises that are given to you and baby following a tongue tie revision to prevent the scarring from reattaching or retethering the tongue. Were you given these exercises?
There are some other musculoskeletal conditions that could add to this presentation and i strongly recommend sourcing a manual therapist who works with babied and tongue ties. They may also be comfortable working alongside your LC.
Good luck. I am an osteopath, so if this avenue interests you I am happy to try and find a professional in your area.
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