Do you fight in front of your kids ? Fight argue ? Yell ?
Do you save it for when they aren't around or are you ok with them being around ?
If they see you fight or argue in front of them do you talk to them about it ?
Do you fight in front of your kids ? Fight argue ? Yell ?
Do you save it for when they aren't around or are you ok with them being around ?
If they see you fight or argue in front of them do you talk to them about it ?
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4 Replies
Discussions and debates about the day to day running of the house and money are in front of the kids in our family because it's important for kids to see healthy dispute resolution, negotiation etc and understand that nobody just agrees all of the time.
Discussions about adult relationships which can turn into fights are behind closed doors.
It wasn't always that way but that's what we strive for.
You always try and fight without the kids around, when they can't hear. My parents used to fight when we could hear them and it was horrible. I actually resent them both for it and my relationship is strained with both of them. It doesn't matter how you explain it to your kids it still causes problems. I thought it was normal to fight all the time and that I should accept being called names and be treated badly by my parents. In reality it's not. Spent 8 years being abused before I finally said it was enough. Am going on almost 2 years with my amazing partner and we don't fight, nor do we argue especially in front of my kids. After years of hearing me be abused my kids are finally seeing what a real/good relationship should work,
My ex used to argue about stupid stuff and i would engage by tryingto tell him its not acceptable and to stop. We are now separated and hes not allowed near me because he still continued to argue in front of the kids putting himself above them.
my one child now is medicated for anxiety and has separation anxiety is very sensitive and is triggered by loud voices she will do anything to make people not angry and not yell. She was fine while younger that doesnt mean its not affecting her its all going in their environment in their developing years has a huge impact on them.
I have read that not all arguing is bad, if there are boundaries on the frequency, behaviour, aggression, if it doesnt turn into personal attacks and its important the kids also witness the making up.
Growing up I only ever witnessed two fights from my parents however they did do it when we were upstairs, we came down to see what was going on. Afterwards, they both came and spoke to us and assured us everything was okay and that it was sometimes what happened between couples. It devastated me seeing them argue those times, I couldn't stop crying hysterically. We will not argue in front of the kids, although they are switched on enough to pick up when one of us is grumpy at the other.