How do you do it? I'm on my own with 3 children, one of whom has some medical conditions that mean she can miss a lot of school and needs lots of extra support. I've had to leave work multiple times to collect her early from school, I've missed work due to Dr appts and even had to have her sit at work with me. I feel like I can't juggle it all, I either let down my kids or get behind at work and risk losing my job. Their dad is uninterested in helping out, I have no family nearby, but really, I can't leave my sick daughter with other people and no one can work for me. So how do you all juggle it?! I have the overwhelming urge to quit my minimum wage deaf end job so that I can wholly be there for my children. But the reality is I need a job to pay for the medical bills as well as trying to offer all my children some sort of quality of life. Are there any practical pointers anyone can offer please? I'm worn out and getting desperate.
3 Replies
Working for me was just no longer an option. Due to my sons beds I'd become a danger at work and driving to and from work. I was lucky enough I qualified for carers allowance and payment because my sons condition was serious enough.
I found my expenses dropped because all of our private ones started bulk billing. Medications all dropped down to under $7 a pop.
I did have to fund one medical expense otherwise he faced a wait of 2 years. $1000 was put on my credit card and I managed to get the other $1000 in the form of an advance from Centrelink.
Having that health care card makes a big difference in costs. At least find out if your daughters care needs qualify you for carers allowance which will get her a health care card.
Wow, I take my hat off to you! You sound like a super-mum and should be proud. It sounds like a very intense situation, I would definitely look into a carer's pension as already stated. Unless you have a REALLY decent employer, I would be worried you will lose your job eventually. If you can, is there any chance you could work on a casual basis so that you aren't set into contracted hours and there isn't as many issues with having to take time off (e.g. don't have to apply etc). Depending on whether you go down the path of carer's pension, you could consider home-schooling to ease the stress of have your daughter miss out on school and potentially maintain some sort of social scenario such as after school sports of Scouts. Is there another parent at the school who lives nearby that could maybe help you out with lifts and stuff for your other kids if you need it last minute?
Also, never feel afraid to ask someone for help. Is there a local Facebook page for people in your area? You could put word out that you do need some extra help and you will be amazed at how many people are willing to help.
Don't EVER feel like a failure. You are you're children's rock and they will love you unconditionally, I am sure they see that you are trying your best and your best is all that you can do. Their quality of life isn't based on materialistic things either, it is based on how much you love them :-)
Also, where are you located? (If you are comfortable to answer!). I will be taking maternity leave which may potentially lead to full-time leave and I have a VERY flexible job where I can up and leave whenever. I will be looking for someone to take over my position in customer service and full training is provided - if it so happens we are nearby one another, I'd be happy to discuss further!
Have you looked into what benefits you may be entitled to? Do you receive Carers allowance? Or look into Carers Psyment, you might tick the boxes if she is high needs. Is there work you could from home, something that is flexible? Or can you quit, and live off single parent payment while you study something you've always wanted to do, and maybe volunteer a few hours a week, whilst being flexible enough to be available for your daughter's needs?
I remember that moment when I thought "fuck it, family is more important!" and I left my job. I then trained in healing modalities and worked from home. I have kids with special needs