I had a medical abortion before Christmas. I wanted another child more than anything but we just couldn't afford to go ahead with it. Ive managed until now to put it out of my mind but sitting alone now I am completely lost. I know there was counseling on offer but dont even know how to express what i feel. I'm angry all the time. I just need life to feel better. Will this pass?
3 Replies
I'm sorry for your loss. To put it bluntly, probably not for a while. You are always going to feel guilt and wonder "what if" for a long time. That's why they always say make sure you are 100% you want to go ahead, I understand your reasoning and really feel for you. If it is something you desperately wanted then it is going to a very tough time ahead. Make sure you take time out for yourself to relax, spend time with your other child/ren and partner and try to think positive. Your current family will be able to live a bit more comfortably based on the decision and at the time it was the right thing for your situation.
If it makes you feel better, maybe make up a little album of the things you would have done for her/him. I know some people who have made an email address for their lost babies and have emailed them. I don't think it's healthy to continue doing this forever but it may help you heal and mourn your loss.
I had an abortion too, the first six months were terrible. So much guilt, so many tears, so many what ifs!!
Slowly I think you start to forgive yourself and remember why you did this in the first place.
You made a decision that you thought right for you/your family, so you have to accept it and move on...well thats how I eventually got through it.
Your bodies hormones are probably all over the place too.
Take it easy, you will get through this xx
It will take some time but it will lessen. When I was ready and I knew how I was feeling, I took the time to write a letter to the child I couldn't have and had to abort. I wrote out all my pain, anger, sadness and how sorry I was and then I took the letter and burnt it. It was extremely cathartic and I felt much better.