Hi IM' s. I have dreamt of travelling to Europe since I was 10yrs old. My husband and I have tried to do the trip 4 times now but each time something has got in the way (unexpected finances, me falling pregnant, family issues) i now have a 2 yr old and have been diagnosed with PND&Anxiety. This year Hubby suggested we try for Europe again this year but he wants to do it without our child. A big reason for this is he feels we aren't going to have the trip i have wanted for so long when we are missing out due to naps and not being able to go out at night. My child is easily frazzled so a new environment will take a while for them to adjust to, and we plan on moving around a lot. Plus the huge added expense of extra passport, tickets etc. Hubby's parents did it when he was young so he doesn't have a problem with it.
I have always believed once you become a family you travel together. I would never have thought this was ok. But now I'm in the situation, I'm second guessing. What hubby says is true. But I'm struggling with the guilt of leaving my child. We want to go for 6wks to do it properly and I just can't leave our child for that long. But there's no point in going for 2 weeks. We cannot afford to take a nanny with us. He is young enough that he won't remember any of this and handles being away from us well. But I don't know that *I* could handle being away from him for so long.
What have other mum's experiences been?
This is a place where women from different backgrounds, cultures and beliefs come together to support one another judgement free.
19 Replies
I personally think 6 weeks is a long time to be away from a small child. I personally couldn't do it. Why not wait till your child is older and prehaps in the meantime go away to one of the islands for a week just you and hubby.
I personally couldn't be away from my children for 6 weeks, i struggle being away from them for just a night haha. Each family is different and does things differently, but i would personally hold off on the overseas traveling until your child is older or id take the child with regargless of extra expenses. You and hubby can enjoy a child free weekend or something of that nature in the meantime that will be less stressful for all involved.
It's 6 weeks of a child's lifetime. Yes you will miss your darling but you can call, FaceTime etc. they won't even remember you ever left once you come back. I would snatch up that opportunity as you never know when you'll have it again. As much as I love travelling with kids I don't classify it as a holiday for myself as I spend the whole time doing what I do back home lol. I would never spend that much money on a trip overseas if I was taking a child. Go, enjoy yourself. Live guilt free doing whatever you want for 6 weeks and then come back to reality.
I'm all for travelling without children! But 6 weeks is far too long for a 2 year old.
I would go away for a week at that age.
When your child is school age and can FaceTime and understand a lot more then 6 weeks would be appropriate.
My child is 2 and can FaceTime. 6 weeks is not too long to leave a 2 year old, that is just your opinion.
Of course it is her opinion, that's what we're here for lol our opinions!!!
ROFL not allowed to give my opinion on a website that asks for opinions.
Sorry I'll stop answering questions so you can give the only opinion allowed
Actually she didn't ask for opinion she asked what experiences were. What was your experience from 6 weeks away from your kid is the question.
My Opinion was Formed by my experience of leaving my child while I went on holidays sometimes for a week, sometimes for a fortnight and sometimes for a weekend. Do you feel better now?
I went overseas for 5 days and had an absolute ball. Cut the trip shorter, you definitely don't need to be away that long. A week or 2 will be fine.
Do it. As long as their is someone you trust to care for them then go for it! I waited on overseas trips too - got pregnant, started a career, got a mortgage, got a car etc. Now I have the money to go and I'm stuck again with not being able to leave my job for that long just yet, but it's coming.
Everyone is different, some can and some can't. I for one have travelled to different places in Australia with and without my son over the years. When it was without I missed him terribly but he was well cared for and built great relationships with his grandparents because of it. I got to spend some quality time being me instead of being mum and enjoyed my trips not worrying about dragging nappies, stroller, 10 x sets of clothes per day etc.
6 weeks, 2 year old, nah too long, also expecting a bit much from family. Take a relaxing week away with just hubby, daydream island, Broome, cairns, port Douglas, Darwin if you live in the cold capital cities. If you live in the tropics, maybe a romantic week away to the snow during winter? There's plenty you could do without your child. Think of worst case scenario, if something happened and your child ended up in hospital, broken bone or pneumonia or something, you would be a long way from home. Also, you said he is okay being away from you, how long has that been? I would go with what you have already tried and been successful with, you don't want to cause him mental anguish, it is a long time to be away from mummy.
Your 2 year old will not suffer mental anguish if he is with loving grandparents. How ridiculous to say so. if you think you can leave him for 6 weeks then do it, if you don't think you can cut the trip a bit shorter or wait until he's older. Don't listen to what other people have to say about whether they think it's too long to leave a child, do what YOU feel comfortable with. I'd have no problems doing it (of course I'd miss my child terribly) but my friend won't even have anyone look after her child for a night. Everyone is different.
I completely agree - no way will the child suffer mental anguish! My 3 year old still thinks she celebrated her birthday yesterday (it was 6 months ago)!! The kid is young enough that they won't remember and better to do it before they get to a stage where 6 weeks will really impact them emotionally.
Sorry disagree, depends on the child. I was in hospital for 2 weeks when my son was 2 and he suffered greatly and he was with his dad. To say a blanket statement that a 2 year old can't be distressed being away from their primary caregiver is ridiculous. Have you been in a childcare centre in the morning on drop off? I think it depends on the bond you have with your child and the child themselves.
Yep have been to child care drop off. Daughter cried and then got over it. Seen other kids too and also seen them put it on for when mum and dad return. 5 seconds ago they are happy until they seem them back. Talk to people about how far back they remember and it is usually about 4 or 5. I find it hard to believe that a 2 year old away from parents for 6 weeks is going to traumatise them for the rest of their life.This woman said her kid is fine with her going away and someone said it was going to cause mental anguish so effectively you are also saying they shouldn't make that blanket statement - go comment on their comment too!!! I don't think the bond you have matters - it's the temperament or in some cases potentially mental capacity of the child. Fine let me revise that... I think most 2 year olds will not be permanently traumatised by their primary caregivers going away for 6 weeks of their life which is 5% of their life as a two year old, 2.5% of their life as a four year old, 1% of their life as a 10 year old etc. Full time working parents would spend over 35% of their kids life away from them and that'a not if they are separated. Albeit it's not necessarily in a big chunk. So I think the people saying mental anguish and such a big proportion really do not consider it relative to the "socially acceptable" periods people are away from their kids. Live your life however and don't let any "perfect" mum make the choice for you whatever choice you make
She asked for opinions, I never said anything about permanent trauma, I meant mental anguish from being separated from mum for 6 weeks, certainly don't think it will be for the rest of his life!! Your maths is irrelevant, we are talking in the present moment. I also said some children, depending on their personality and bond with their mother (some are naturally closer, some more independent). You said a 2 year old can't suffer mental anguish and that just isn't true!! Have you seen an 8 month old baby happily sitting on an uncles lap at a party and suddenly cry when they realise they can't see their mum? SOME babies and toddlers suffer anxiety when separated from their primary caregiver and 6 weeks is a long time for a 2 year old!! Only the poster knows her child and their personality and how they would cope.
Have you noticed the majority of people think it is too long?
I couldnt do it it too long but a week or two is just too short to bother going to europe. Three or four weeks sits well with me and I suppose you could push it an extra week. When my 2 year olds dad went overseas she coped really well and then after a few weeks she hit a wall and was just ready for him to be back. Talking on phone or skype is not the same to a two year old they want you there cuddling them and being there with them.