I need help, and now! We have a 2.5yo and 7 week old. Now 2.5yo has been perfect from day dot. No issues as a baby, has slept through the night for as long as I can remember and while she has some great (naughty) terrible two moments, she's a good kid all round with beautiful manners, a kind nature and she absolutely adores her baby sister. Our 7 week old however, is a really hard baby. We have been to the doctors about colic, reflux and a possible intolerance to cows milk. She screams every single night for 2-3 hours non stop to the point of almost passing out, sometimes more, spews a lot, is really unsettled most of the time and in general is a really unhappy baby. It's breaking my heart because we have tried things for colic and reflux and nothing has made even an ounce of difference. We have terrible nights where sometimes I get only 2-3 hours sleep in total. She screams after a very early feed, usually around 2-3am and we can't settle her for an hour or more. I'm really struggling with both the crying and the no sleep. The doctor recently recommended a lactose free formula which I actually thought was working for 2 days. But tonite she's back to her usual unhappy self. I am also waiting to hear from a paediatrician as we got a referral because i can't take much more of this. I'm also considering a chiro that specialises in babies because apparently they can work wonders and also the mchn was abit concerned with her hips. She's a beautiful little bubba and nothing makes me happier than seeing her smile and hearing her "talk" to us. I hate seeing her in pain and I wish I could suffer whatever she has just so she can live a happy normal life. I'm absolutely filled with guilt because our 2.5yo doesn't get the same attention she used to. But she's so good which makes me even more guilty. We do include her in everything, from feeds to bum changes. Even putting our little one to bed. I just feel like I'm failing and should know what's wrong. And how to fix it. We try baths which do help but once she's out she's back to screaming. We lay her in our arms on her belly which helps only for a little while. We do the bicycle legs which help her with wind but she usually screams while we do it. We rub her belly, we rock her. She hates the car. Everything you can think of, we have tried it. I'm in tears almost every night. And I hate saying this because all I ever wanted was to be a mum, but I'm not enjoying parenthood at the moment. I feel like I'm failing, failing her and my 2.5yo and I'm so bloody tired that I barely have energy to keep the house clean. I hate asking for help but My family know the right time to step in and give us a hand which I really appreciate. I'm just scared because both my parents have a history of depression and my little sister recently tried to commit suicide. I don't want to ever feel like that. I love my girls more than anything else in the world and I have a fantastic partner who takes control when I no longer can but I need advice asap :'( I should also state that her dad had a cows milk protein intolerance and was put on infasoy. Is it worth trying her on that or something similar?
14 Replies
Has the dr discussed medication for reflux? Worth trying - if they are reluctant to go to a different GP. Also it is more likely Bub has a milk protein intolerance than lactose intolerance - you could try a soy based formula instead as lactose free usually still has milk protein in it. Definitely get her into a paediatric allergist xx
Yeah he gave us some losec to try but it didn't do much at all :( I think she may have a little reflux there mixed with whatever else she has but this current formula has only helped with the big projectile spews and nothing else. Will be trying soy based in about a week if no improvement and also just waiting to hear back from the paed about an appt. hoping that's very soon! X
My mum felt this exact way about me, everything you described only my sister was 18 months when I was born. Anyway, at 4 months, the pain magically stopped and so did the tears/crying. There's not a lot you can do, just ride it out until her digestive system matures (if that's what's wrong). Thinking of you during this awful time.
I'm hoping if we havnt fixed it by then that she grows out of it. She's a week shy of 2 months so I know we probably have a long road ahead still. But I'm praying we find a solution very soon! Can't hurt to try the soy as my partner settled down straight away once on it! Thankyou x
Well her dad had a milk protein intolerance I think and after many doctors visits and sleepless nights, they finally tried infasoy and he was really good after that. He still has some intolerance issues but nothing too bad. Some days he can have milk no problem and others he gets an upset stomach. So I'm taking that into consideration. But we have switched formula 3 times now and the most recent was 3 days ago. How long before I can switch to a soy based to try? I don't want to upset her tummy any more than it already is. Yesterday she was unsettled from about 4pm and we couldn't get her to sleep until 1am when OH slept on the couch with her.
Hey Hun - I'm a dietitian. There is a chance that she may also be intolerant to soy if suspected milk protein intolerance too as the two can go hand in hand for some babies. If no improvement on the soy after a few weeks, you may need a prescription for a specialist formula. I'd actually suggest taking to a dietitian (APD) as they can make a formal recommendation, best also to get opinion of paed. Often immature gut can be at play, but after about the 4 month mark it hasn't improved I would be definitely looking at these avenues. There may also be a chance of reflux diagnosis which may improve on medication, but best to speak to the paed xx
Thankyou so much! I have heard they can also be intolerant to soy. My partner was so much better on soy so I'm hoping that's the case with my little one but we can only try. I'm still waiting to hear from the paed which hopefully doesn't take long and il see what their opinion is. I'm at the point where I don't care how much I have to spend and what I have to do. I just want to make her better and of course I need a break and some sleep too! X
Happy to help, hope you find some answers soon!
Oh my heart is just breaking for you! My son was the same, we ended up finding out he had trouble digesting starch. And of course I was loading him up with potatoes cause it was the only thing he'd eat! Turns out there was something in the formula which was startchy too. Keep seeking answers, keep trying differeent docs/paeds until someone listens. Definently try a chiro as we found it helped too, but get one with many years experience and specifically with infants. When you have one who knows what theyre doing it is completely safe for bubs.
Whatever you do dont let anyone convince you to just let them cry it out. Dont feel guilty for going to them. Your baby is in pain, you arent doing anything wrong. You are doing great momma. Make sure you take some time for you too! You need a break!
I'd suggest checking out Whilbies (sp) Colic Mix. It's only made here in Boronia, Victoria (but they do ship interstate) and is a bit expensive but honestly was one of the *only* things that bought my son complete relief. Even if you just look up the stuff and see if a naturopath near you can recreate it for cheaper. But I swear that and warm baths were the only things that made the crying stop.
Please feel free to find me on Facebook and I can give you more details. Even if you just need someone to chat to who knows wha it's like. If you live in Victoria I can recommend a great chiro and paedetrician. And would love to help you however I can.
This is such a hard time, my favourite mantra the whole time was "this too shall pass". Hang in there mumma!
Thankyou so much Lisa! I'm glad you worked out the problem in the end! I'm hoping we can do the same but I'm not getting my hopes up about it being any time soon. I'm the one that goes in straight away when she's crying, but if I get too worked up I walk out for 2 mins to calm down or my partner takes over. I do live in Victoria so if we have no luck in the next week or so il search for you on Facebook :) thankyou for your kind words, sometimes we as mothers just need to hear from someone else that we are doing a good job and it will all be ok! Xx
This sounds exactly how my son was, i pretty much could have written it myself, only i didn't already have a child as he was my first. I think i went through about 5 different formulas and saw 3 different doctors and finally the only formula that worked and agreed with his tummy was a soy formula...it honestly saved me, i was going insane with the constant screaming and sleepless nights, i was a single mum with no family support....a soy formula may not help in your situation, but hopefully you find something soon that will agree with your bub, all the best
I'm so sorry you had to go through it alone :( I would not be coping at all if it weren't for my partner and family. My partner in particular wasn't a great help with our first (but she was an easy baby) but he's really stepped up this time round to keep me sane and help out. I really hope we can get to the bottom of it soon. It kills me seeing her in so much pain and discomfort. And I'd kill to get a full nights sleep! X
Our youngest was the same! I had 4 and the other 3 were pretty easy. The last one - Christ he was tough! He didn't sleep, he cried all the time, he wouldn't sit in a pram or car seat. He just wanted to be held - by me - constantly. I felt terrible for the other kids, especially 2.5 who was still a baby himself. We joke that if he was the first, he'd be an only child because we wouldn't do it again!
In the end I just had to ride it out, I took up baby wearing, cut dairy from my diet, and just got through one day at a time. The good news is that he grew into the easiest toddler. He's now 3 and the easiest 3 year old of all four of my kids. Hang in there, you are doing everything perfectly, some babies are just 'high needs'. :-/ it gets better. X
I had 2 babies like this!
Both had milk protein allergy, silent reflux and colic. BOTH!
See if paed will put bub on Pepti Jnr or neocate formula and give it 2 weeks to kick in not 2 days.
Baby number 1 out grew this allergy at 12 months and was tolerating cows milk, he had diarrhoea till he was 3 but was in no pain.
Number 2 has just turned 4 and is only just tolerating dairy in the last few months.
My pead had both my bubs on losec (compounded by the pharmacy) for their terrible reflux.
Number 1 was on it till 12 months and number 2 till 7 months. Everyday twice a day. If I missed a day bub was in pain!
The losec also took about 2 weeks to offer bub some relief.
Nothing can be done for colic, I've tried EVERYTHING! They simply grow out of it between 3 and 5 months. You just have to comfort them through the pain, sometimes crying with them, and that's all you can do.
Unfortunately there is no quick fix for babies like this, you have to have a good paed and ride out the storm.