I have twin toddler who are both boys.
Twin 2 absolutely loves his independence he's trying to master to walk and loves being social. As to be expected with his age he has separation anxiety at times but does warm up to other people and with encouragement will get involved in play.
Then there is twin 1. Very very very needy. Won't go to anyone but me, follows me all day crying, won't settle in bed, doesn't want his dad or nanny at all. He's so bad to the point him and his brother were playing in the sandpit at the fence line of my 3/4 backyard and my neighbour who popped her head over the fence and said hello to the twins and twin 1 crawled like a mad man crying all the way to me sitting on the patio. It took him 10 minutes to calm down with a cuddle then wouldn't get down off my lap. Or another example he will see me grab my hand bag off the table and he will crawl to the garage door crying before I get anywhere near the hall way.
He dislikes any interaction from anyone but me and doesn't like to see me leave. (Which I hardly don't befause I'm at SAHM)
It makes things hard when they both go to their dads house every second weekend because twin 1 doesn't want to go to him at all.
I have a suspicion that their dad favours twin 2 a lot more... which makes me stress even more at drop off... I feel like twin 1 doesn't get the love twin 2 does as I've seen it first hand and that could contribute to the anxiety he has from me?
is there anything I can do to ensure him he's okay and I'm here or encourage being independent?
2 Replies
They're not walking yet, so they must be around 1? Way too young to be going to dads for weekends!!
Guidelines at this age are a few hours at a time a few hours a week, building up to overnights around 3 or 4
It's clearly too much for him :(
I don't really have much advice apart from maybe putting them in occasional care? My son was the exact same as 1 and I can honestly say putting him in care 10 hours a week was the best thing I ever did. He still has his moments but he is becoming more and more independent. He cries when I drop him off but I can call 10 mins later and he is fine. Perhaps as harsh as it sounds tough love may be the best option