Pregnant and confused.
Hi IM's! My partner and I have recently found out I am (unexpectedly) pregnant with our second child.
I'm torn as what I want to do.
I struggled mentally for the first twelve months of our first child who is now 2.5, as I suffered anxiety and she was a poor sleeper (2.5 now and still not sleeping through).
My partner would love another child, however I feel as if I've only just become myself again, 6 months ago I began working part time which was a great improvement on my mental state, and helped us a lot financially.
We could financially survive without me working, but it would be difficult and we would miss out all all the luxuries we have now- something I really enjoy.
I also actually love my job, and I fear losing this will make my mental health suffer, plus sleep deprivation!
I would like another child, but I feel I'll never be "ready", I'd just have to do it.
I've written so many lists, the negatives for me are way greater than the positives, but my partner is the opposite.
I'm just so torn, and looking for advice as I don't have long to make my decision.
Pregnancy dillema
Pregnancy dillema
Posted in:
Pregnancy
4 Replies
Well, I'd say why not continue working with the new baby? Take 5 months off and then back to it or sooner, maybe even later? See how you feel once you have baby.
Perhaps enlist of a few services to help with getting baby to sleep (dad, nannas, grandpas, uncles aunts etc) to make the first few months a little easier. Even booking in with trecillian may help.
Could hubby take a day off once a week to take over the night shift? Or even to reduce child care payments so you could go to work or get some sleep?
Heaps of options but you need to be happy with the decision you make.
Personally, I'd go for it, make the best of an unexpected situation and make it work for me.
Perfect answer!! Having a 2nd baby does not mean giving up your job ! Take a short maternity leave and look at your options for care ! There are heaps of working families out there ! Just need to
Find a way to make it work for you and your family ! Your probably seeing the negatives because your afraid !! Try not to listen to your fear and pay attention instead to the joys the baby brings and the love you'll experience ! Talk to your dr about your anxiety and start treating it now !
You totally got this !
I recently had my second child who also was not planned after deciding to have no more children. Honestly it is the best thing to happen to me. I have been so much more relaxed and maternal this time than I was with my first born. My first didn't sleep through the night until they were three so I understand the sleep deprivation. If you wanted a second child then this is a great age gap. Seeing your children together is the most amazing heart-warming thing in the world. There is never a good time to have kids but you always make it work. I have also found myself getting back to normal activities this time so much sooner. I guess I know how to handle a newborn now and know that this stage goes so quickly so I'm not as stressed (I know the waking at night etc will end and I will be ok). Good luck in your decision either way
Please speak to your GP or child health nurse and ask to a refer to a sleep clinic like tresillian or you state equivalent. You will be able to make a better plan once you no longer have to worry about sleep!