My husband is feeling detached from our son - he is 9 months and has become extremely attached to me. I have tried explaining to him that it's just a phase of his development and I try and give them time alone while I shower or go grocery shopping. But it's getting so bad that if my husband picks him up he screams until he gets back to me.
My husband is feeling fed up because the screaming is so heart breaking neither of us can stand it. I try not to give him I just walk away,try not to make a big deal, get husband to distract him. But it doesn't work for long.
He used to do everything for him without a second thought but he confessed that he feels useless now because his own son won't go to him.
How can I help? He is feeling so lost and j don't know how to help. He almost cries everyday when it happens. I can see him slowly giving less attention to our son everyday because our son just crawls away and cries.
Help. My heart is breaking.
5 Replies
Just go out and leave them. They nedd time to settle even if it takes a few times, your husband will eventually win if theres no sign of you.
It's likely to be a stage that will pass...
Don't take it to heart, Its just a stage. All my babies did it around the 9 month age. Don't take it personally, the baby isn't trying to hurt anyones feelings, just part of his development.
My now 1 year old was the worst out of all three kids! He would scream if left with daddy even for a few minutes. I even had to extend my maternity leave haha!
However, at about 12 months he started being daddy's boy again and now at 14 months, as soon as dad walks through the door after work, he's the only one out of the three kids to stop what hes doing and crawl as fast as he can to get a daddy cuddle. It will pass.
Its a totally normal development stage. If you google 9 month old only wants mum, there are lots of articles about it and tips on what to do etc...
You haven't done anything wrong. Baby isn't doing anything wrong and daddy isn't doing anything wrong. The more you understand about child development, the easier it will be to understand these stages and not take them to heart. :)
As mentioned below, this clinginess is very common especially at this age and not personal. I totally feel for your partner (and you without his support when you really need it!) as he is feeling rejected but he might need to learn more about what the baby is experiencing and needs so he stays involved and so you also get time off! Here's one random article, but you can find much more. They are doing a big leap at this stage. They really need usually their mum to take these leaps, and explore the world and then come back to security. It is actually a really healthy sign of a strong bond that will mean the baby is getting the support he needs in the world. It will change again and meanwhile you all need strategies to cope with the crying and clinginess. Also try and get some other breaks from friends and family if you can cause all mums find this part hard if it's strong. http://babyshrink.org/babyshrink/2010/why-your-9-month-old-baby-is-so-di...