I'm feeling so guilty right now my 13 year old daughter is fat!! I've allowed this to happen she is being bullied and I don't know how to help her I work and she is home with her brother 10 and does nothing all day and eats has a very unhealthy relationship with food she is a beautiful girl I just want to help her
7 Replies
Clean all the junk out of the house. Say the whole family need a healthy overhaul.
I recommend joining weight watchers together. This would be one of the only programs that doesnt cut out whole food groups.
They have lots of great recipes that the whole family will enjoy.
When I done it, my two young children loved the meals and treats.
Good luck, you have the power to turn your daughters life around now.
Don't approach it from a weight loss diet perspective.
Start working on her body image. Look at Facebook groups like the moderation movement etc. giving her confidence no matter what her size or shape is the way to go.
Is there some kind of fitness thing you could do as a family Park Run is good. It's on Saturdays, dirt cheap and you can walk. Lots of parents take there kids and there kids end up joining in. Start organising some weekend activities that are fun but moving, swimming centre etc. most pools are open quite late so you could go for a swim when you get home from work.
What are other options other than hanging around the house all day during the school holidays? Grandparents for a day here or there, a day at a friends house etc. can they come to work with you for the odd day? Breaking things up goes a long way to shake the boredom.
Talk to your daughter about her entertainment options. Maybe write a list of things she can do to entertain herself. What hobbies or interests does she have? How can those be tapped into better?
Stop buying the junk food. Establish screen free time every day and encourage her to do things with you like go for a walk. Get her involved in making meals and teach her the right way to live. Also be awear teenage girls do put alittle extra on during this time to cater for puberty.
Dont make it about weight. Change your lifestyle. Lead by example. Get her involved by explaining what your doing and giving her options. Educate and get her interest. Get her input. Take her out and show her fun movement. Gym free play? Tranpoline world places? Swming? Rent a paddle board. Find a fun dance class. Bushwalk. Sunset swim. Whatever interests you. Then get her involved.
i really believe it wont last if you dont enjoy it, so make it fun find what you love and it will become part of your life. But she has to be taught how to do that.
I havent checked it but looking into the start moving / i move because campaign will probably help.
oh and no matter what, compliment her and mean it now, not just when shes skinnier.
You have noticed a problem and you are willing to help your daughter and fix this, no not fix it, change it and I applaud you!!
I was your daughter, I was 14.5 and in year 10, the year some pretty bad crap happened that year and I was depressed. My mum didn't know about healthy eating and portion control and she didn't know enough to pass it on. She'd feed me massive plates of lasagne for dinner and then lest me eat it for breakfast and lunch again to next day. And then she's feed me sausages, Boiled potatoes, n veg for dinner. Smothered with gravy. Pleas take in mind I didn't like sausages but was forced to eat them, I didn't like potatoes either. She never admitted I was getting fatter and didn't care to mention it. She didn't encourage physical exercise and rarely took us out of the house. I can thank my brother for that. We weren't allowed to leave the house and we're limited to our back yard and I had already given up sport back in year 8. I did nothing except clean house and cook what I was told to cook.
Here are some suggestions you could give your child. I know life is busy.
The streets can be scary but they are also safe and bad things happen on rare ocassuons it won't always happen. Take her out for a walk prior to or after dinner or buy a treadmill and have a competition with her. Ie who can walk the furtherest on the treadmill, I'll beat you to the top of the stairs, who can get up the beach the fastest, make this your one on one time with each other (I never had this) Talk to her about her weight, it's not just a number and we are all beautiful but we want to be healthy and beautiful. Inside and out.
Show her how to make healthy choices, lean meats with lots of veggies and a little carbs for dinner, healthier bread choices, show her that moderation is key and let her know it's still ok to eat cake just not the whole thing or even a 1/4 of it. Portion control, it's ok to have another sneaky piece the day after. Freeze it in portions! (That way when she asks if she can have a piece that she's taken a portion that ok to eat. It's ok to have a small handful of chips/pretzels etc don't eat the whole packet. And it's ok to binge ocassionally, especially for special occasions just to remember to jump back to a normal diet the next day. Tell her you love her so much that you want to make sure she is her best, that she is healthy and you are releasing her to be the best she can be in the future. That her weight isn't what bothers you it's her health. You'll love her no matter what. Make food changes without pointing it out and although meals are important, you can skip dinner ocassionally, (especially if she's saying she's full and not hungry) if it happens more than a few times a week reassess and give her a smaller portion. If you are advocating a healthier life style ensure you're living it to. Although teens are hard to talk to, and they lash out at times they are listening.
Good Luck Mumma! You've got this!
Make it about the family and a healthy lifestyle not about her loosing weight. Don't keep junk food at home, but don't deniy it 100% either. Have a treat every now and then when out and when serving can be controlled not a family block of chocolate or a tub of ice cream but just a single serve. Fill the fridge and cupboards with healthy options. I pop fresh Pop corn weekly and put it into single serve containers, carrot sticks etc with some dip, nuts, fruit, vita wears, rice cakes etc Our family favourite at the moment I see I freeze water melon, strawberries and pineapple cut into little pieces when it's hot I blend it to slushy consistency, so yummy and so much healthier then ice blocks. Cook healthy meals from scratch as much as possible. We have pizza and hamburgers etc often, but they are home made so so much healthier. And exercise as a family, go for walks, bike rides, swimming, geocaching is a great way to get out and about.
First step: stop buying junk food. Get rid of all of it! Have a 1 night a week treat night.
Don't make it about the weight. Make it about your family changing to a healthy lifestyle.
Have prepped healthy snacks and get her to help you prep them. Have them in the fridge ready in containers.
Go for a walk in the evening together and to the pool on the weekends.
Sign up for a colour run and train together. Make it fun! Healthy can be so fun!