I've posted here before about miss 7 and bed wetting. So we now have miss 8! I've taken the nappies away and put an alarm on for her to get up and go to the toilet, this works and no issues if she gets up. So the problem is the novelty of getting up and waking up dry is wearing off. She'll turn off the alarm, continue sleeping and pee. In the morning she makes her bed and will go to sleep that night without a worry it's smelly. What can I do to solve this problem?
9 Replies
Bedwetting is still fairly normal but at this age is probably more of a concern. I would suggest a trip to the doctor to see if there's anything they can suggest.
What sort of reinforcement/reward is in place for having a dry bed? It's got to be worth her while.
I wet the bed until I hit puberty. My parents would punish me if I wet the bed. I guess they thought i was lazy. But why would i purposely wet the bed at school camp, embarrassing myself in front of my peers, or at friends sleep overs. My son is 8 and wets the bed. He wears pull ups. I will never punish him for this, however I do get cross if he wets the bed and doesn't remove his sheets. I now just ask/remind him every morning and this hasn't been an issue since. Its great the alarm works for your daughter. I would possibly set up a rewards chart for using the alarm but i certainly wouldn't implement punishment with bed wetting, bed wetting at an older age is punishment enough.
She doesn't get in trouble for wetting the bed but yes I get cross at her when she doesn't put the sheet in the wash, but that's the problem she doesn't care to sleep in smelly sheets. She doesn't wet usually if she gets up when the alarm goes off. It's set on her iPod. We did try the alarm the goes off when she wets but she wouldn't care to change into dry clothes. It's true that there has to be something in it for her to get up when she needs to. I've tried the reward system, it works for a week or two then the novelty wears off. Today it's no iPod or tv for 2 days. But honestly it's not going to bother her because after the initial sad pout she's off playing happily. Her value is food, but a friend told me not to use food as a reward or punishment because she grew up with eating issues as that's how she was punished.
You don't want to use normal everyday foods as a punishment or reinforcer but using a treat food as a reinforcer for a period of time for a specific behaviour is not going to hurt her.
So I'd use a food reinforcer, a food she highly enjoys but she wouldn't normally have free access to. Something like chocolate that you can give small amounts for.
Some kids need the 'reinforcer' changed more regularly because they satiate on the item quickly.
Usually I find adding something in, rather than removing something which is a punishment far more motivating.
Also start talking to her about the smell, and not to shame her, but explain that there are social consequences to unpleasant smells etc.
I agree, as much as you don't want to push social stigma upon it she needs to know that the smell will be noticed at school and that is one thing you don't want to happen it could severely impact on her. Constantly changing rewards could help and making punidents vary from technology to loosing desert to loosing social things may help
Please please please get a referral to a continence clinic!!
This needs professional help, she doesn't need punishment!
Our GP referred us to a continence clinic at our local hospital, took us about a month to get seen, cost us nothing (other than the bed wetting alarm hire which was $40) and after a month she was dry and now been dry for almost a year!
There are a huge range of reasons why your daughter might be wetting the bed, please see a continence clinic they deal with this stuff day in day out and work through it with you.
I've got her a bed wetting alarm. Trouble is she doesn't care to use it, I've told her in a month she can be waking up dry but she doesn't want to use it. I will add that she is my partners daughter and I have to tred very lightly, suggesting taking her to the doctor will be a huge issue. She can wake up dry, and does if she wakes up by the iPod alarm and goes to the toilet. She just doesn't care to do it. This morning she agin has wet sheet and doesn't care to put them to get clean. I don't think I can help her anymore until she's wants it:( she thinks I'm stupid and don't know that they're wet.
It's not easy for these kids. My daughter wet the bed basically until puberty. I really really encourage you to remain calm and positive with her. Offer to help and work together. It really plays on their self esteem but it can't be helped. I know my daughter went through stages where I was tempted to think she was just being lazy and uncooperative. However bed wetting seems to become such an endless cycle and it can be extremely discouraging.