My husband, 3 year old daughter and I are flying home to visit family and friends, this year which we are very excited about. However I need to return home by a certain date due to a prior engagement. My husband and daughter are going to stay on over there for an extra week. I don't mind the idea, I trust my husband completely, and he is more than capable of looking after her on his own. He's a great Dad, plus he will have family help and support. But I can't help feeling anxious about it. She and I are very close, as most 3 year olds are with mum, and I can't help thinking what if she needs me? What if an accident happens and I'm not there? Will she think I've abandoned her? Gosh, I'm in tears just writing this! Plus, I admit, my own selfish point of view, I know my hubby will keep me updated with photos and calls, and I know I'll be jealous I'm not there having fun with them! She's quite intelligent, but she'll still only be three and a couple of months at the time of travel. Will she understand that she will see me again a few days time? How do I cope with these feelings of anxiety? Like I say, I have no fear about her safety at all, and I'm sure she'll have a great time but I'm still nervous! Any advice from mum's who have been away from their kids for longer periods or even just a few days?
4 Replies
Firstly I spent 2 weeks away from both my parents at that age, I stayed with 1 set of grandparents for one week and another for the 2nd week. I had a BALL! It was awesome. I'm not scarred by the experience and as a three year old I knew I could speak to mum and dad on the phone anytime I wanted and could understand that of see my parents again.
Just as when I looked after my niece and nephew for 2 weeks while both there parents went to New York for three weeks were not scarred (4 and 2). There parents facetimed every few days, kids were so busy having fun they really didn't want to talk that much lol!
What a fantastic bonding experience this will be for your husband and daughter. Trust me, there is nothing you can do for your daughter that he can't (other than breastfeed). Your daughter will gain a huge amount of confidence and bond with her father knowing that he can look after her too. What a fantastic gift you will be giving them both. At three she understands pretty much everything! And you and she can FaceTime or Skype. Daddy can kiss boo boos as well as you can, I promise!
One of the big lessons for us mums is that we are never ever going to experience everything with our children (something most dads have to accept from the day they are born). It's a big lesson that our children are going to have experiences that we aren't there to experience wether that's daycare, school a sleep over at grandmas. We have to accept it, and encourage those experiences though because our kids enjoy them, gain confidence from them and develop a stronger sense of community and self from them.
you'll be anxious the whole time, and as they get older that doesn't change. Don't let it affect your life though and definitely don't let it affect hers. If she needs you, dad will do just fine. If an accident happens dad will deal with it (just like you would if she were with you and dad wasn't there). From about this age I was going on holidays with my best friend for a week and leaving our son with dad, just like he would take a boys holiday leaving the lad with me. It's excellent bonding time for them.
Each to their own, but personally i wouldnt be able to do it.. i would tell the peoples whos engagement it is that i cant make it as i would be on holidays and maybe make a time to catch up for dinner or something when you get back.. my parents who i trust more then anyone in the world asked if they could take my daughter up the coast over the weekend and i said no as i would miss her sooo much.. ive never had a night with out her and she is 2 and a half, even if i go out for a few hours and leave her at home with her dad or my parents i cant wait to get jome to see her.
I'm a military mama... I have to leave my kids for periods of time, often. It breaks my heart, but they only really notice when I call home. I left for 10 months when my youngest was 1, my middle child was 2, and my eldest was 9. This will effect you more than your daughter. I take photos of my kids everywhere I go, and call every night. We do a count down of how many sleeps left until mum comes home. Your daughter will be fine, you need to figure out how you will cope. It sounds like it's only a few days? As hard as it sounds, put her out of your mind for most of the day. She's safe, she's with her dad. Enjoy a little you time if you can!