Rant/sadness/long story : making my mum choose to save my own sanity

I did it, after years of copping abuse from my younger brother for no reason at all. I told my mum that if he's there next year Christmas myself and my family will not be. Christmas Day was the final straw. He had me crying at the family breakfast and then crying again at the family lunch. It was horrible.
My partner and I decided together that this will no longer happen to me. He will no longer be able to dull my spirit. I know I have to put my mother in the position of who she spends Christmas with but please understand I have not done this without thinking about it.
It all started years ago when we were kids, he's always targeted me and he's always been an arsehole he's undiagnosed something and now he won't do anything about it himself. I was often the one left at home to watch my younger siblings while my mum left the house to go to her "coffee club" my brother always tried to hurt me, he once tried to run me through with a wooden sword he made in wood work. Mum when she was there would pretty much blame me, it was always me sent to my room/outside so that we didn't start arguing again. When ever he got grounded it didn't last the day but if I got grounded it lasted weeks and the punishment didn't get lifted until the time had passed. I left home at 17 that was when she had to start taking my little sister with her everywhere to protect her from my brother and his rages and "coffee club" diminished. Every time I went home he'd verbally abuse me, every time and mum would just say to ignore it. Do you know how hard it is to ignore the fact your brother threatened to cut out your unborn child from your stomach, that he knew where to get a gun from and was going to come and get you while you were sleeping, there's only so much of that you can handle so my visits home became less and less. I bit the bullet and took my first. Hold home to see my mum for his first birthday mum left me at home with my brother who then chased me around the house with a big assed chefs knife while I was holding my child in my arms. I managed to lock myself in the toilet until my older sister came to rescue me. He even knocked on the door with the knife while I was waiting saying "come out come out so I can kill you both" I never stayed at my mums again after that visit and would stay at my older sisters if and when I came to town. In the end Mum would come me to see me and bring my little sister with her I didn't mind but it was hard because I was in an abusive relationship and they could never stay long. My ex would become unreasonable and quickly. Fast forward to now, I'm a 31 year old woman who left her abusive ex 3 years ago and took her 3 kids with her. I have done my best to try and be civil to get past the hurt and anger and deal with my ridiculous, idiotic brother and the things he says to me. I cannot do this any more. I will not do this anymore. He started on me the moment I got out of my car Christmas Day, I had already told my OH to expect it and ignore it because I would handle it myself. Breakfast was had, presents were opened and he was still being feral towards me (he didn't want to be there and my mum had forced him to come) we left shortly after the present were opened and took the kids home to get ready for lunch. I took sweets and cooked the Pork and made gravy and transported it there. My brother parked and took up 3 spaces for his piece of shit car and I asked him to move it and park it properly to which I copped abuse (why didn't I leave then and there, it was Christmas and I didn't want to upset my mum so my family and I stayed) I managed to park and took the food inside, for which I copped more abuse. I should have left then but why should I it's my family too and shouldn't the trouble maker be made to leave (nope mum wouldn't do that, she just wanted me to deal with it) 20 mins later I'm sitting there tears streaming down my face my oh hand wrapped around mine and him comforting me in our own way. (Me still telling him to ignore it because it's Christmas) Still more abuse only aimed at me and in front of my 3 kids. He tried to make my 3 kids think that it was ok to talk to me like that. Thank god my kids know better. But it is not the point. It wasn't ok to be spoken to like that. Then it was time for dessert I'm dishing up the cheese cake I made (it was fucking delicious but I wasn't eating it, took a massive chunk home to eat the next day with my family) when my mum offers some to my brother. As if nothing had happened and right in front of me. I asked her straight "do you think I want him eating the food I put my money and love into" "do you think he deserves anything that I do, no he doesn't deserve it and I don't want you giving it to him" she gave it to him anyway. I got home after having to transport my chairs home and going back for my OH and kids (I should have just insisted he walk up the street with them) only to cop it again. We got home and I opened my beer and that's when my OH said it "don't worry babe, I'll never ever make you attend a family gathering again especially if he's there and it's definitely ok with me that you don't invite him to our future wedding, whenever that happens" he had me in stitches, he watched the kids while I cooked Christmas dinner for his family and loved me like I deserve to be loved. When his family arrived it was like a breath of fresh air. It was calm even with 6 extras in the house everyone was nice to everyone and it was what I have always dreamed of. It was then I decided that whilst my brother is living with my mum that I will not go there any more. If she wants to see my kids she will have to come to me, that any family gatherings will have to be without him involved for us to be involved. It was my sons birthday yesterday. I didn't invite my brother and told my mum that she was not to say anything to him as he is not welcome in my safe space. The day was awesome. I told my mother Boxing Day that I will no longer attend events that involve my brother, that he is not welcome in my life and that he won't be welcome at any events that I hold. And that next Christmas I will make time for her to come and visit and hand out her presents but I won't be attending her place for Christmas. I know I've hurt her, I know that she will be hoping that I will change my mind but I know I won't. This year was the last Christmas I will let my brother ruin for my family, my older sister is of the same opinion. We will have each other, our dad and all of the kids to celebrate Christmas with just not our mum or little sister because they will choose the feralness that is our brother over us and we will be just fine. I know mum won't be but she can't have it both ways. She has let him get away with his behaviour for his whole life but we will no longer accept it. If your are going to hate on me for this at least make your criticism productive and intelligent, I've been dealing with his hatred being aimed at me for the last 24 years since he was 5 years old, I cannot give another year being the one he attacks she made him, I'll let her deal with him but for ever more I will not.