Hello lovely sisters.
A year ago my fiance had an affair on me and left me. I was 12 weeks pregnant with our second child. Everything was nasty he denied his unborn until a DNA and even hasnt bothered hes now 4 months old. Only last 2 weeks hes decided to want him. Hes breastfed. Told me his lawyers said he is able to go overnights from 3 months old and i need to obide (i wrote up consent orders whi h he is ignoring). He also took in my son when he was an infant he is now 4. And up until a month ago he had him weekends and took on the father role (my sons father isnt in the picture or on the birth certificate) so my ex is the only father he knows. Can courts order him to maintain a relationship as his new gf has jammed a wedge between them and doesnt want him to have anything to do with his step child. Which has had a major affect on the child. (Screaming all night for him etc)
im at a loss. I really am. He has the house and cars and everything. Tries to control child support uses it against me. And i know i did wrong when i went on singles for a while with centrelink because he was financially abusing me. But now he uses that against me. I needed to support my children. It was a DV relationship and this mew girlfriend has ruined everything that was going well.
Seperation and children (step)
Seperation and children (step)
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Relationships & Marriage
9 Replies
Firstly, its not the girlfriend. He was a jerk way before she came along. Hes just playing different games now to suck her in too, youve taken a different role in his game.
Secondly, why on earth would you want a court to force your son onto this psychotic man?
No they wont and you shouldnt either. I get hes upset, but hes young and doesnt understand. Youre the parent you protect him.
Amen to that.
The girlfriend is the one causing all the issues. The chick he had the affair on me with left as soon as DNA come in. And the other woman moved in 4 hours after she left the house. Now the new gf has done nothing but make my life hell. To the point of DCP telling police im on drugs (when im against it id gladly dp testing or whatever). She was a friend sho witnessed me get belted by him. And shes changed her tune big time.
No. HE is your problem. Anything she does to you or 'makes him do' is his choice at the end of it.
This is life after dv lovely, it doesnt matter who she is, she will be replaced again, but the trouble problems and drama will always exist with him, because... HIM.
GOOD FATHERS don't abondon their kids over a woman. THEY JUST DON'T DO IT. Listen to what we are saying, the gf may be a bitch, causing drama but he is the one responsible for being a parent. Please, please wake up!!
I agree with the first comment.
I have no doubt in the world that my fiancè would take both children for visits if we seperate. We have seperated before I was pregnant and still his first priority was my son, he done everything for him even though he had no obligation to.
If we split up now and he was acting like this I'd be very very glad he wanted nothing to do with my kids.
He can't be forced to have anything to do with a child thats not biologically his. Even if the child were his, he still doesn't HAVE to have anything to do with it.
And I wouldn't blame it on the girlfriend either, if he really wanted something to do with the kids, he would. Simple!
He was still seeing and having both kids (the one that biologically iznt his) long after we seperated. He got a new gf and bam she doesnt want the child in his life.
What kind of man ditches their kid and stays with that woman?? HE decided, youll probably find hes given her a completely different version... maybe you tricked him and milked him for child support on a kid thats not his.
They go lower than you can imagine.
Understand that you and your kids are disposable to him. Now and in the future. Better to cut ties for good and be rid of someone like this or this will happen again, and worse. they will mess up your life for as long as you let them in.
Yes and I understand that. But he was possibly seeing both kids to stay in your good books just in case he ever needed anything from you or decided to try and get back with you.
But he has every chance to say no to this woman that you think is forcing him to say no.
If my fiancè told me I couldn't have anything to do with my ex step daughter, I'd pack his shit before he could finish his sentence. Fact is, thats my sons sister, plain and simple, she will be in his life and I gladly take her overnight, weekends and help out her mother even though their father has nothing to do with either of them.
It is still his choice in the end.
You dodged a bullet, be glad.