Please be really gentle. I am so down and have had panic attacks all day.
Today my sister wrote me a text.
She said she no longer wants to be in my life I am a nasty selfish person who only cares about my own feelings and to return everything she has ever lent me and never contact her again.
She said its because of how I have treated our dad.
I am heartbroken.
a week ago she called me her best friend.
I guess the question is ...what did I do to our dad?
I banned him from my house ,from contacting my kids and did not contact him for Christmas.
He dropped presents for my kids and I donated them to charity.
Sounds awful?
The man sexually abused me from the age of 5 to 12 till I was fostered out.
Then when my mum got sick she took me back in where it continued till she passed away.
I kept in my life for years till it all resurfaced.
Then blocked him
Then my sister told me to forgive him or lose her. I did.
But I felt uncomfortable and then had kids and did not want him around them.
She always pushes me to move on. I think in her head she does not believe me... Even though she remembers me being fostered and I have an email from him apologising for his unrequited obsession.
I feel so hurt that she has done this.I have called lifeline twice today and talked myself out of self harm
I hate that she is hurting me and I wish I had never been born.
I am so broken. I need to see someone I know. I will book in tomorrow.
5 Replies
Hey, I'm so sorry your sister has done this. It sounds like she hasn't accepted who her father is, and what he has done.
I think you deserve much better, and you need to say goodbye to your sister until she can understand what happened to you.
Please hang on until you get the help you need
You don't deserve to have people like your sister or your dad in your life you deserve so much more. This is not your fault, this is entirely on your father and your sister is either sick herself or in denial. You are a great mum by not exposing your children to that danger and I cannot even fathom your sister behaving the way she is. It is utterly mind blowing. I hope you get the help you need and can move on from both of them. You don't need to justify your decision as you are not the one in the wrong. I'm so sorry you are going through this!
Poor darling. You have absolutely done the right thing. She is in denial. You protect yourself and your children no matter what. Allow yourself to grieve your relationship with your sister. Go and see a psychologist if you haven't already. Your kids need you xxx
Sometimes people can't support us like we wish they could (or know they should). That's ok though, we have no control over them. You have the strength in you to survive this blow, you've survived much worse. Grieve for the loss of the relationship with your sister that you wish you could have, maybe later after you have your head and heart sorted you might be able to reinstate a much reduced relationship with her but honestly, I do this and it takes a massive toll.
im so sorry for your sisters actions, you should not have that man in your or your kids lifes, you need to protect him. it sounds like everyone else is either in denial or chosing to ignore it, either way you are not on the wrong hun. hug your babies and try to move forward if you have to get some counselling please see your gp