My children's father acts like he doesn't have kids.
We seperated at the start of the year, our relationship should have ended a long time before that, but i tried to make my marriage work for my kids.
At the end of june he moved away for work (i am actually proud of him for following his dreams) however he has only called our children twice in this time, and because child support contacted his employer i am finally receiving financial help for our 2 children.
The first time he called was when he heard i was pregnant, and the second time he called was the night after i sent him a very straightforward message about his lack of caring and what it is doing to our children.
I understand he is hurt, he most likely wants to hurt me, but i dont believe he shoukd be using our children to do this. How do i get them through this? Mr 9 doesnt show much emotion but miss 6 is beside herself, and wants to call him (i do call him for her, but feel he is the parent and should make the effort) has anyone else been in this situation and can offer some advice?
Thank you IMs
2 Replies
Have a set night of the week that either you get the kids to call dad or dad calls the kids. Tell him to set aside that time to talk to his kids. Make it routine.
My ex has always been the same and then I'd get told off for not reminding him...
This isn't about him being hurt. This is about him being lazy, and lacking empathy for his own children, pretty sure this was who he was before the separation it's just that he couldn't ignore them before because he was in the same house.
You definitely did the right thing, but it sounds like you need support helping your children through the transition. Personally I'd contact relationships Australia, they have loads of resources that can help.
I'd also organise mediation so you can get set times for phone calls. You can mediate over the phone so you don't have to be in the same state. He still might be a lazy arse parent and not follow through, but at least you've tried then.