Right now I am broken, I'm in a very dark place. I just found out I have herpes. I've been with my partner for going on a decade, he didn't cheat or anything. We just weren't aware that he had it, apparently it can lay dormant for many years and up to 80% of carriers aren't even aware they have it. Yet I still feel broken and so upset. I feel disgusting & dirty. I've always prided myself on my hygiene and the fact that I haven't had many sexual partners and now I just feel gross. I wish I was dead. This has honestly crushed me & I don't know how to process and cope with this news.
5 Replies
Most of our feelings about having herpes (I have it too) come from our prejudices regarding other people.
Herpes is the EASIEST thing to catch, like really easy. You can catch it from sleeping with only one person. Condoms don't prevent it.
You aren't dirty just like you wouldn't be dirty if you had a cold sore on your lip or got chicken pox (they are from the same family of viruses). Do you feel dirty for catching a cold?
It's not uncommon to feel upset and be depressed about this issue. The good thing is you and your partner can support each other through this.
I had my first outbreak after not having had sex for 12 months so I can understand the shock that you would have felt.
Some people find counselling helpful to process this, don't be afraid to seek it out. But do yourself a favour, be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend.
I know the feeling, I found out I had herpes just over 12 months ago, it can take a while to get your head around, I know I still am. I caught it the first time sleeping with someone who chose not to disclose it to me. It won't kill you and it become managable after a while. The stigma behind it makes it hard and to be honest as a single person I don't think anyone will ever love me because of it. There's many support groups and counselling that can help, the groups are fantastic as they have all been there. If you want to know anything else feel free to get my details I'm happy to answer any questions.
Xxx chin up IM it gets better.
I have it, found out through a routine papsmere. I was crushed! I still really don't know what it all means 2 years later. ?
Every thing your feeling right now is everything I felt when I first found out I had it. It took me a really long time to accept it but now after 10 years it doesn't bother me at all and I no longer feel ashamed about it. One thing that did help me was my doctor told me a story of a lady in her 60's that caught it after meeting a new partner after her husband had passed it just made me realise that it can happen to anyone and I wasn't dirty at all if anything it made me even more cautious when I had an outbreak especially when dealing with my baby changing nappies and stuff (I was paranoid of passing it onto my daughter after she was born).
You wish you where dead ?! Really !! Honestly I think your being so over dramatic . I think you need to take a step back and be grateful it's nothing more serious . It has nothing to do with being dirty ..